H went to his therapist, down by OW's house, and was unreachable for hours. then he called, said he went to dinner alone, and was on his way home. he called back and said he lied, he had dinner with her, they are just good friends, and she is engaged to some other guy.<BR>well, since yesterday H told me he was not over her yet, i find this to be a disgusting, intolerable situation, and told him in simple terms that it was unacceptable to me. im sure this is what he wants to hear. he told me he would take care of the divorce. i have nothing left to give.<BR>still, it' s nice he's honest, and it will make co-parenting less of a hassle if he can keep it up.<BR>sigh.<BR>it is just truly amazing how he could lie so well about us being a family and him caring, and me wanting it to be true for so long. he is a liar of awe-inspiring proportions.

How emotionally abusive to you...what is he doing? Please be careful.....he seems like he can be very sneaky....just like my stbx. Watch your back.....he is so confused and doesn't know which way is up.<P>Keep us posted<P>Good luck to you<P>Nancy

Oh Hon, I am really so sorry ! <P>I wish I could give you good advice tonight, but I'm so confused and upset I'm afraid I'd say the wrong thing.<P> I can and will say this, you don't deserve to be put through anymore. <P>Maybe it's time for plan b ?<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{lWb}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>Hepatitis C, educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://hepatitis-central.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://hepatitis-central.com/</A>

MENTAL, he is completely a jerk, but says he has a head injury and can't remember anything. hahahahahhahaha. whatever.<BR>Deb-I'm going to drive to texas after my court thing next week and spend several weeks there. it'll sort of be like plan B, so that will be good.<BR>tnt-he as absolutely promised not to screw me with 'abandonment' or 'kidnapping', so im not worried.<BR>he came in last night and told me he got me a mother's day present, but i would not come down to see, and he lay with me in my bed for a long time.<BR>this morning i found it's a fancy flat cd player stereo, but a crappy brand, so i lb'd and told him to take it back, i don't want it, i don't want anything from you.<BR>he said he's not sure if he's grieving for me or OW at this point. i told him it was his choice, and that this was it, i don't deserve this anymore.<BR>oh, and last night, he actually BEGGED my forgiveness. it was weird.<BR>i don't know if he's being honest, or if he is just doing all the things ive been demanding for ages, and pulling off the biggest lie of them all. his pain seems real, so i suspect he's being honest...<BR>oh well, i'll stop before i confuse myself anymore....<BR>thanks everyone for listening,<BR>julie<BR>

LWB:<P>Your spouse sounds really confused and you sound so hurt and angry.<P>I'm glad you are going away for a while. It will be a little like a Plan B and I hope he misses the he** out of you.<P>Prayers<P>Catnip =^^=

confused is the word, catnip.<BR>i wonder if he WOULD miss me, though...he'll just call her and call her and call her...I just don't understand how she can be "engaged" and still bother with him at all? shouldn't she be all involved with her fiance? it's too weird for words, and probably some kind of lie again on someone's part....so what's new?<BR>sigh

i just read one of H's old emails to his daughter, from last week. he wants her to move here, and was going to drive to get her, or OW would drive back with her. (cross country trip). <BR>i just want to vomit. <BR>i called the lawyer to get a quick consultation about my court problem, and he told me i might be able to get it wiped off my record.<BR>i don't feel very well right now...

Julie,<P>First of all I know you are feeling VERY desperate.<P>But, so much is happening all around you that it is a wonder that you can think straight!<P>So listen, and listen up good!!!<P>Okay - you are in a huge crisis. So, you have to prioritize what is important, and you need to handle only what you can handle, and let the rest handle itself, keeping in mind the big picture - which what you want is a faithful, truthful, husband and your children.... right?<P>Your FIRST PRIORITY right now must be YOU.<P>So, that means you need to have these charges dropped completely. And, it may mean that you may have to file some charges on your own, I'm not sure - that is why I think you need professional help here. It is good you have a lawyer. - and you may need the strategy behind what a crisis center may give you.<P>The reason I am suggesting this is not because I want your marriage over, or because I think you are in danger at the moment, but because I think you need to have a clean record and a plan to protect yourself and your right to parent your kids FIRST.<P>SECOND. You need to make a plan for some peace that in no way can be used against you later on.<P>THIRD. If your husband is having contact with OW, then he is not in withdrawal yet. His behavior is definitely odd right now, but he is NOT in withdrawal. He maybe is panicking because OW is forcing a commitment from him - by saying she is engaged to someone else, he is in CONFLICT with what he wants, he wants his cake and eat it too. So, my guess is he is trying to get you to leave out of the state for a while so that he can make it appear to OW that he is indeed working towards a divorce, but he isn't committed to getting a divorce unless he knows that he can have his kids and no debt, etc.... <P>I'm not saying he doesn't love you, I'm saying that he is NOT in withdrawal from OW, but may be in a dilemma with his marriage vs. relationship with OW.<P>Maybe you should play your cards right and KEEP COOL - let her make all the demands and you are his salvation right now.... But first protect yourself. You owe it to yourself, and to those kids.<P>TNT

tnt, thanks. this is what it sounds like. i very much doubt OW is engaged, and it is clear H is still very involved with her.<BR>I will be in touch with the lawyer today or tomorrow, and that will give me great peace of mind.<BR>this is just a nightmare of pain, but im doing ok right now.<BR>thanks again,<BR>julie