Hello every one!! I am new here. I been reading everyday all the messages that are on the web site.<P>I am Mike. I been marry for about 13 years. I have 2 kids, a boy & girl. My wife wants to leave the marriage. She is no longer in love with me. I found out today that she felt this way for the last 7 years. Thats how long she been working. <P>About 2 years ago, I was working 2 jobs. My wife starting talking to a person that parks her car. I of course say and did all the wrong things. I let them be friends. My wife starting dressing up. She brought a cell phone. At first she did not give me the number. She try to hide it from me. I did not treat her right. I am mean & did not pay her much attention. She start to take his op<BR>side on everything. I found this web site a few months ago. I try plan A. The best I can. Of course I fell a few times. My wife has feelings for the other person. I found notes. He also works on her car. I try to get her to stop and give me a try to rebuild my marriage but not luck. She wants to leave.<P>I need help. I pray everyday for my marriage. I been placing my faith in GOD. I love her deeply. What do I need to do?<P>Mike.

Dear Mike,<BR>my H left me after six years of marriage. It was yesterday night. I´m still devastated but I will grab my life with both hands and workout in a relashionship which worth my commitment and my love. Read my last post and you will understand. I´m praying today, for the first time, not for him to came back but asking God to show me the best way. Maybe your best way is away from her. I practice Plan A etc etc and now I have no energy left to work on it. I´m working pretty hard to keep myself busy, practicing sports and right now crying. I can tell you I´ve been feeling much better everyday. Take a decision and go for it. You have the strengh and all life with so many beautiful people and interesting things to do.<BR>Lov<BR>Claudia

MHW,<BR>Your story resembles mine only that I seem to be a little ahead of you into the "mud".<P>Your wife has to find out herself that she wants to stay and work on your marriage. You can't do it for her.<BR>What you can do is to show that you're the good alternative. By PLAN A'ing you should be able to grow as a person. Do things for yourself and the kids and try to take focus away from her and sort of "let her go" in your mind. Avoid educating her and love busting (I presume you know what that means by now). That will only throw her into the arms of the OM.<BR>Hopefully she will come out of the fog sooner rather than later.<BR>Do things you like to do and try to develop yourself.<P>You can also look into the SBT methods of Michelle Weiner Davis. She's the author of "Divorce Busting", and she describes some interesting methods that you can consider trying out (do a 180, LRT etc). It might work in your case.<BR>There is also a web-site:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.weiner-davis.com" TARGET=_blank>http://www.weiner-davis.com</A> <P>Go to the message board at that site.<P>Good luck and keep posting and reading!<P>scandinavian

Welcome <B>MHW</B>...<P>I know you've been lurking and found a bunch of good sites... as a summary... I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P>I'll be praying for you...<P>Do continue on Plan A...<BR>Check out the "Plan A" section in my <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000013.html" TARGET=_blank>Notable Posts/Threads</A> post.<P> <P>Jim

Dear Claudia,<BR>I feel your pain. I feel like you sometimes. I would like to move on. I have 2 kids. That I love dearly. I want them to have a good family life. I been praying everyday. I also know thy will be done. I am trying to do things for myself & the kids. I will also pray for you. Thank you for your reply. You will also be in my prays.<P>Scandinavian,<P>We do have something in common. It is so hard not to want to educate her. I been praying that she does come out of the frog. She has turn around a little since I been doing Plan A. I give her a hug. She just stand there. There is no hug in return. It hurt some much to finally love someone and the love is one sided. I know, I hurt her in the past. I was not there for her. Her pain is so deep. I just keep giving until it hurts. I to, will have to start letting her go. I will be more of myself. You lose yourself because you are trying to please the other person. I was alot more fun. I need that. I will enjoy the time I have with her everyday. I read your Update. I am sorry that she has not come around. Maybe this will be my faith as well.

Thanks Jim. <P>The information is great. How are you doing?<BR>It is nice to have so much support during this time. I wish, I could wake up the pain & worries would be gone. I am also praying for you. This time in my life has brought me closer to GOD.<P>Mike.<BR>