Well, I think I might have screwed up...<P>Couldn't sleep last night so I checked the calls on cell phone and noticed h answered a call from an unknown number. (no one has the number to the phone but us) He was in bed, I woke him and asked who it was (which I know was kinda mean) and he said he didn't answer the phonecall. Anyway, the phone says he DID answer the call so I got suspiscious. Also, I checked his private email that he told me he closed...well turns out he has all his mail being forwarded from his private email to his work email. He DID NOT tell me THAT!! Doesn't that constitute another lie?? <P>Anyway, as for the phonecall, I called it and it belongs to a young guy, so I think I did goof there, it probably WAS a wrong number, but the email???? that bothers me. What do you all think? And now that I have confronted h about the phone call (not the email) I know thathas set us back inthe trust department and he's not happy!!!<P>The thing is I don't trust him!! Ican't help it. He has lied to my face so many times and lied about the lies.<P>Does the trust ever come back?????<P>Windy

something it took me forever to learn is to not confront with evidence immediately, they just learn to hide it better! i looked through my H's wallet ONE time, and i swear i never even saw the thing again!<BR>you already asked him about the email, which is why he forwarded it, so there is little hope of snooping there anymore.<BR>now, if you already KNOW he's having an affair, then just STOP snooping. it only hurts you (hard to do, i know).<BR>but all i can say is, they just learn to hide things better when you call them to your attention, so don't do it.<BR>and don't worry, im not the voice of god here, everytime i see HER phone number, i go insane immediately, so i just don't even look in the mailbox anymore, i can't handle the stress, despite the curiosity.<BR>next time you feel the urge to confront him, come here first, but don't stress out, much bigger "goofs" have been made and gotten over

I know what you mean about the trust. I am nowhere near trusting my H again, but we are working on it.<P>Is it possible for you to still see the messages being forwarded to his work e-mail? Can you set it up so that a copy is saved where you can see them? <P>Or can you ask your H to share his work e-mail with you?<P>It's hard. I think that waking him up was a mistake, but I don't think that asking him about the other things was necessarily. (Personally, I would have called the mystery number before talking to him, but that's neither here nor there.)<P>The only way for the trust to come back is for both of you to work out a "verification regime" (as if we were all in the arms control business). You need to work out a way to make you happy and him happy.<P>Good luck! --HBC<P>