H has been so down, just hanging out around the house avoiding me on our days off together. He spent 4 hours playing solitaire last Saturday.<P> So we have the weekend off together, the last one till July. I would really like to do something fun together. I don't want another weekend of him hiding out and me keeping busy doing chores around the house, trying to entice him out with a movie or dinner or whatever.<P> So I talked to my personal counseler who feels I should make plans, invite him along and if he refuses say I'm sorry I really wanted to spend this time with you, but go off and do it anyway myself. That would be different then I have done in the past, it would show more independance and it would get me out of the house.<P> Steve says to not go off on my own, that if H doesn't want to do something to hang out and do things around the house. I can see his point, but it is such a struggle to deal with feeling like I am his jailor and him avoiding me the whole time.<P> So opinions please. Do you all agree with Steve? Any suggestions besides movies of how to drag him out of issolation? Help, I should try and talk to him tomorrow if we are going to do something.<BR>Lora

Hi Lora -<P>Not enough info to be able to give an opinion.....why do you think he is down and being so non-interactive with you?<P>Is there withdrawal going on? Do you know? <P>Was something said between you two? Is he thinking? <P>It's hard to know which advice would benefit at this particular moment....<P>Perhaps staying home and doing something fun that might intrigue him enough to join in......<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Gosh Sheba,<P> I wish I knew what was going on, but since he won't talk I am left to read his mind. The last talk we had was the one where he said If we got divorced would you want to keep the house and that he was unhappy and that he was tired of trying and didn't think there was anything else to be done. So maybe he is out of this marriage and I just don't know it yet. He has been very withdrawn from me, yet he keeps coming home and not being obvious about seeing her. And he didn't say we are getting a divorce or talk about moving out. I think he is still waiting for me to initate any change. So thats as much as I know<BR>Lora

Hmmmm? Ok Lora,<P>How about this.....<P>Do you have a couple (friends, relatives) that your H really likes and has fun with? I am thinking of your having them over (could be a surprise stop-by type of thing) and drawing him out with some neutral "fun" time.<P>What do you think?<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Sheba,<BR> Yes I had thought of that. It made me realize we don't have alot of friends. I have been racking my brain of who to call. <BR>Lora

Hi Lora -<P>I had to smile at that one!!! I have had such thoughts myself at one time or another!!! I think it is more that we are so petrified that one of them could do or say some stupid little thing to set him off in some way.....<P>It's just our paranoia!!!!<P>What else does H like to do....when he was "human" that is!!! There has to be something he used to really get into fo entertainment at home.......<P>I remember one time when we were in the same kind of unomfortable funk.... I actually got out the BB rifle and set up soda bottles outside and started target shooting all by myself!!! This was something that he would delight in teaching me. Since he couldn't be bothered anymore - I did it myself!!!<P>He came out of his "sulking aloneness" pretty quick and we had a lot of fun!!<P>Got anything like that?<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Cleaning the garage probably wouldn't qualify hmmm?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!<P>I don't know....sometimes my H used to LOVE being in his domain!!!! (the garage!!)<P>Whatever turns him on.....<P>HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!<P>Would that do it for you though? LOL!!<P>

Lora,<BR> There's nothing like a good water fight out on the front lawn! --Murph

Sheba,<BR> <BR> If I knew what turned him on right now we wouldn't be in this position.LOL<P>Murph, <BR> Humm, water fights and I had a dream about water too, wet t-****s... I think I need to go out and water the lawn right now.<BR>Lora

Goodness, it blocked out where I wrote t- Shirts, did I have a typo? Or is that a new obsenity?<BR>Lora

Well, I only see 4 * blobs... so I have a feeling you had a wee typo.