My H and I have been married for 10 years and have 3 kids. We have been in love for 16 years, high school sweethearts. In Nov. '99 he took me to Hawaii to celebrate our 10th anniversary. On March 19, 2000 I found ou he'd been having an affair, sexual since January '00 but friendship/love since before our trip.<P>When I confronted him he said he loved her, promised to marry her and have kids with her. But he said he fell back in love with me and didn't know how to stop the affair because of all he'd promised her.<P>My H is a physician in the Emergency Room and she works in the registration department so they see each other a couple times a week anyway. But he still hasn't broke it off with her. He says they're not sleeping together but he just needs to talk to or see her during the day.<P>I tried living with him during this "letting go" phase but finally on May 2, I asked him to move out until he could control the "urge" to have contact with this woman. He tries to assure me that he wants to be with me and the kids forever he's just trying to work up the courage to tell her that and not make her look like a slut.<P>He is depressed most of the time because of the mess he's created and he is working outrageous hours in the E.R. to avoid the problem. I believe he does have less contact than when he lived at home. I am trying to use plan A with him and be very supportive and loving and I am being very patient with him because I love him and he is doing just enough to make some deposits in my love bank..<P>Should we take our children on our week long vacation to the beach together? Wouldn't this begin the stages of withdrawal? Or would it just be a mistake and a huge punch in the gut to me? <BR>Do you think I can rely on the natural death theory, that this affair will end soon?

I'd go...a family vacation (or even better, one for just the 2 of you) would be great. Don't expect it to be all roses, withdrawal will probably make him down, but it will help him focus on you.