Hi, Missy! Ok,I'm back for a bit.<P>Robert physically and officially moved out on 8/6 - the day after my birthday. Actually he wasn't home so much from 6/28, so he was kinda gone then as well. Not sure where he stayed (officially) for the next couple of weeks, didn't know where he was, but he officially moved in w/ PT on 9/1. I went for weeks at a time and didn't hear from him - not even to call his daughter! His pride and joy! <P>I Plan A'd the whole time, on the few occasions I'd see him, I'd just act happy to see him and laugh and flirt - nothing serious. When he'd call (which wasn't often until right at the end), I'd do the same. I always hugged him hello and goodbye - nothing in between and I'd tell him "I love you" when he'd leave or hang up. Mostly I got nothing, sometimes an UG, or an "I'm gonna get a divorce, you know." Nothing more.<P>I called his place 4 times in 6 months. That's it. Once w/ an emergency concerning Kristin, once to go over some things and twice to return calls from him. But....I wrote every week. I didn't have his address, so I sent them to his mom's and Pop took them to his job for me. Newsy, funny letters about Kristin mostly (they were hard work), ending with I love you. Nothing else about us or them.<P>Around the end December, he started calling a little more often for a week or so. To do him some favors - "Can you do an invoice for me, could you print me some business cards with THIS address?" Always an excuse to call and I always said Yes to his favors, then we'd chat a bit. Like you were talking to an acquaintance. Funny, flirty conversations (on my end anyway). My dryer had been broken for months - since he left almost like everything else. During one conversation, I mentioned hanging clothes all over the house and he said he needed to fix PT's washer anyway, so he'd get the part and come by on Sat and fix my dryer. Ok, sure, fine by me!!! That was Monday. On Tuesday, I got a letter from him, the first since he had left (this was Jan) saying that we'd be better friends than spouses. Ug! Sat morning he called and said he was on the way, had the parts and was gonna stop and put tires on the car and would be about an hour later than he planned. No problem. From the tire place he called and asked if I really needed the dryer. Nope, why? Wanna take a ride. Sure. Oh, maybe you should search "PopTarts and Bacon VS Plan A". It's a great thread, my favorite! Anyway that's the day he asked to come home.<P>Later I discovered that earlier that week he had heard a song - some country music song that made him think he wasn't where he was supposed to be, doing what he was supposed to be doing. He put it out of his head until Saturday. On the way here, he heard it again, so he asked for the ride. Then he started thinking of all I had been an done while he was gone, all the letters (he kept them!), how nice, loving and understanding I was and thought about his vows. He decided he should come back b/c he was SUPPOSED to!<P>I know what you mean about "Making it work". Robert says "I never look back, never GO back" and when he left, it was final for him. He said he knew he shouldn't have, it was the wrong thing to do and once the fog started lifting and he knew that PT wasn't the love of his life, he still felt that he had "made his bed and had to lie in it", make the best of the situation. <P>But he didn't. Thank heavens, he didn't. He came back b/c he SHOULD. He stays b/c now he knows he loves me, and according to him "always has, even when I didn't act like it." And now ,he's IN LOVE with me and only me!!!<P>I couldn't counsel w/ Steve - didn't have the money. Wish I could have - it's a great idea.<P>Did any of this help?<P>Lori
