HI All,<BR>Yes, I was forced to sign the papers today. W's AttackoTurney threatened to make it a contested D if I didn't (she would go after 401K, Condo, business etc...)<P>Of course I found out that he knows OM. SURRRPRISE SURPRISE huh?<P>I'm really down, defeated. OM won. OM WON!!! I can't believe it!! But, he won. I never would have though ANYONE could take my W from me let alone HIM!!!<BR>(But I'm also the guy that thinks Elvis didn't die when they said he did and that OJ was framed!!) A hopeless optimist. I feel like such a fool. <BR>It's been a LOOOONG futile fight I guess. But, it's almost over. I just don't have any bullets left. I can't think of anything else to do to stop it!! I GIVE UP!! I just give up.... I've NEVER given up on ANYTHING in my life. <P>It's been in God's hands for a while. I guess this is his will. In 30 days, I will be a divorcee. 15 years, gone, our adult children, crushed and confused. Our beautiful Grandson will wonder why Grandma & Grandpa don't live together and WHO IS THIS GUY WITH GRANDMA???? He looks like HER GRANDPA!!! Our families separated again. Even out DOG is confused when she sees me!!<BR>UGLY, really UGLY!! So sad..... <P>If anyone can see any hope or good here, let me know. I can't. I pray for you all. GOOD LUCK & PRAYERS FRANK <P>P.S. I just feel sorry for me I guess HUH??<BR>

Frank, I'm so sorry.....<P>((((Frank))))

Frank,<P>I know it seems bleek...<P>My W is going after everything...<BR>pension, house, and worst of all...<BR>the 401K (the only place we saved for the kids education... so I 'll have to start re-saving for their education all over again!)<P>Is there hope...<BR>...I know there is...<BR>...once your pain dies down a little you'll find it.<P>There is a lot you've learned here!<BR>You are a better you...<BR>...and maybe in time<BR>...you'll find a better relationship!<P>I'm praying for you!<P> <P>Jim

(((((((((((((((((((((Frank)))))))))))))))))))<P>Oh Frank. I am so sorry to hear this. And this may sound crazy, but remember when we were talking and you mentioned how this couple you knew had to divorse to start over again? As long as you love your wife, and you want your wife, there is reason to hope. Allot can happen in 30 days. You are in my thoughts and prayers. <P>(((((((((((((((((((Frank))))))))))))))))))<P>------------------<BR>You can't live with them, you can't kill them.<BR>*Viki

NoTrust,<BR> Thanks I needed that!! <BR>Jim,<BR> I know I've grown a lot and learned alot. I just thought things would be different. We came soooo close in the begining, then, satan pulled her back. I KNOW this will NEVER EVER happen to me again and my next realtionship will be GREAT. I just thought it would be with my W.<P>Vicki,<BR> Yes, that could happen I guess. I just wanted my W to choose me over OM. To choose our 15 years of marriage, MY 15 years of "Holding her above" her illness, our two children, 6 dogs, 4 parrots and a monkey over a shifty old man who took advantage of her MLC and her other problems. <BR> I just don't know how my heart will feel on that day. It may just close forever to her. I know God will take care of me, AND... OM I hope. <BR>THANKS GUYS FRANK

Hi PH -<P>There is nothing that I could say....<P>All I can do is wrap my cyber arms around you in some BIG HUGS!!!<P>Two words that give hope in this nightmare for me are BUBBLES BURST...<P>Hers will someday!!! Regardless of this you are a better man for having learned so much. Not much comfort at the moment, I know, but it will be down the road.<P>This is not your choice....you have not "failed" or "lost"!!! She is choosing out of fears, fantasy, whatever you want to call it.....it is not a decision based on dealing with the problems head on.....<P>Remember What Dr Phil said....To divorce someone you have to earn it!!!! She didn't and it will come back on her in some form. Not that you want it to necessarily, but that it should and she will hopefully choose self growth when it does.<P>Just keep her in your prayers, as I do with my H......that is the most loving gift you can give her right now.<P>BIG HUGS,<P>Sheba

Hi Frank<P>I am so so sorry that this has happened. You are a wonderful man and I only hope your W comes to her senses and realises this before its too late<P>You are in my prayers<P>Love and Hugs<P>Gabrielle

A monkey? Where'd that come from? Must be some story! <P>Crap Frank... I'm really sorry... I'm sending some big hugs your way, friend!!!!<P>Sheryl

Frank,<BR>Guess what...it isn't a contest....but if it was, nobody certainly won....and everybody lost.<P>I look at divorce as a no win situation. I have lost all in this divorce...even things that I could care less about. Basically my stbx and I have nothing left. The house will need to be sold to pay off attorney fees....credit cards....evaluation fees...etc. I will leave this marriage with my clothes....hopefully our children and an 8 year old van. Woopie....a 12 year marriage and look.<P>All of this for his pleasure...his fantasy. I don't even think she is in the picture anymore.<P>But I could care less about the money, furniture, the house....I don't care about any of that.<P>I can have all that....but something worse was lost....a special love I felt for someone....a feeling I'm not sure that I want to share with anyone ever again.<P>Frank....hugs to you....you are a good person....so is everyone here....so I guess we finish last. But that even makes me try harder because one day I will be at the front of the line again....with my head held high and all of this far behind me.<P>Nancy<P>PS...I just got out od my neighbors hot tub.....her and I were talking about this guy I met through them that is divorced. I guess he was asking about me and she told him...no way. I guess he cheated on his wife and she divorced him. But I see him so different....he gave her everything.....felt bad and tried his hardest to make it up to her. He is still saddened by it today....he is not married.....it has been 3 years....and he still wishes he could have his wife back. He and I only briefly talked about it and when I told him what my stbx did...I could see the tears well up in his eyes. I just figured she did that to him. Now I find out differently....I guess he was so happy to get a divorce...like I said gave her everything...wanted out to persue OW. It only lasted about 3 months after D and she left him. He wanted to come home....Ex would not take him back. He is lonley...hurt...depressed....so maybe they do wake up.....at least he did.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Frank}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Love and prayers,<BR>Lori