Hey! Are you still here? I hope so. I miss talking with you. I finally just saw today that you had replied to my post about the the toll road bill and what to do about it. I still have not said anything and I don't think I will. We are doing so well and I truly feel that he is not contacting her and I feel very sure that he hasn't been anywhere near her part of town. Ever since he has been home he has let me know of his whereabouts very well so I am gonna have to trust him now. We are doing very good and are very close. We have been spending lots of quality time and so far our changes have stayed true on both our parts. I'm happy. <BR>My intuition has always been right and right now it tells me that we are ok and not to worry about the past b/c I feel that it is really over.<P>I have been really worried about you. I hope you are ok. I sincerely would like to get in touch with you since you live so close. I know you could use a friend. There is definately no shame or judgements here on my part. I truly pray that you are doing ok. Just know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. <P>Cindy

Bringing this back to the top so you can see it if you are still here.<P>Cindy

I haven't been here in a while because I have been really busy trying to put this marriage back together. <P>I was actually scrolling down trying to find something about you because I have wondered about you just about everyday. My husband and I have been praying for ya'll. I am glad your husband is home and everything is better. I hope and pray that it will stay that way. Did he find a job? <P>We have been doing really well actually. Hard to believe in light of everything that has happened. I really feel he is going above and beyond the call of duty as far as trying goes. I am just still really scared of the great risk of trusting him and becoming vulnerable again. He is like a different person. I really feel like I left that husband and found someone else. He has gotten on antidepressants (long needed) and has let God into his life and into the driver's seat in his life. It is remarkable and I give God praise for what He is doing in his life. My husband said that God changing him has been as big a miracle as Him creating the world. I say a big AMEN to that!!! <P>On the one hand, I have never been happier in my life. Honestly, I can say that. But, then all the anger, bitterness, resentment, FEAR, and grief sweep into my mind and I wonder what in the world I am doing still with this man????? It is a daily - no - hourly struggle for me. He is really being there for me. Like never before. Like I didn't know someone could be there for someone else. But, then Satan starts whispering in my ear... "He can't change! Think of all he did to you! Think of all he did to your children! You deserve someone else!" And then the anger comes... So, that is pretty much where we are. Back and forth. Back and forth. Pure joy... unbearable rage... crushing sadness... <P>I would really like to meet you too. If you have a suggestion on how we could without announcing to the world where we live, let me know. <P>Sending happy thoughts and heartfelt prayers to you tonight. DI

Hey! It is great to hear from you. I am so happy to hear that you guys are doing good. The last time you posted you seemed like you were in a really reallly bad place. Praise God that you are back together. It is such a miracle that when you truly seek God with all your heart he will see to your every need. It is so wonderful that God has touched your husbands heart. That is still something that I pray for for my husband. I feel that God truly convicted him and that is why he came home but he has yet to openly proclaim that God is in his heart. But I know that God is working on him, and that he will come around to letting Jesus guide his life. I can see the changes and I know that God is working, Glenn just doesn't know it yet. My H definately has a praying wife and the bible says that through me he is sanctified. <P>Wow, it is still incredible how both our lives have turned around. Thanks to Jesus for his intercession on our behalf. I still struggle a little with doubts and insecurities but I know that Satan is still trying hard to hurt my marriage. I will NOT let him. You need to do that too. Know where those thoughts come from and in Jesus name send them right back to He** where they belong. Keep fighting Satan's evil little plan. You are where God want's you to be. We are both very lucky to have God in our hearts and lives. He is so faithful and merciful to help us when we turn to Him. <P>Yes, he did get a new job. He started today. Just to let you know that you are not alone in having doubts. Yesterday I had a thought about him driving right by her street- he has to use the beltway to go to his new job location-and I thought, it would be very easy for him to call her and stop by- but I know He wouldn't do that and I have to keep praying that God will take that thought from me. It is a struggle but I am really trying. No love-busting for me. We too are very happy. It's wild that just 2 months ago I thought it was all over and I never knew such devastation. Now here we are the happy little family. I was watching my h and Cade mowing the lawn yesterday ( he likes to ride with Daddy) and I was filled with peace and love. Wow! We both have come a long way in a short time. I like to come here and read all the posts. It keeps me grounded and sometimes reading the stories of others who have not reached the point we have, shows me how furtunate I really am. <P>I hope and pray the best for you and your family. Oh, maybe you could e-mail me @ cadesmom1999@ivillage.com and give me your number or a number I could reach you or you can give me your e-mail address if you have one and I'll give you my work no. I'm sure we could work it out somehow. I have never used that e-mail address so post me here and let me know if you send me a message and I'll go there to check.<P>Hope to hear from you soon. Prayers to you and yours.<P>Cindy

To Holding On Dead Inside - Praise the Lord! He is awesome isn't He. Every day I am more in awe of the miracles he performs every day. Wow. <P>Love and prayers to both of you,<BR>AW