Yesterday I did it earlier at the office; I lost it later so last night I did it again and this morning and I am doing it now. I did forgive her.<P>It is mental forgiveness, a mental attitude that really helps... you feel the relief going through your head & body & you feel better + positive.<P>Today we went through the list of emotional needs and learned a lot about each other, she cried but shows no remorse for still seeing this OP. For those who don't know she is having an affair with OW, but until yesterday she insisted that she's Bi so there was no way I could meet her expectations; today she talked about those emotional needs not satisfied and when talking about sex her main complain is that I don't relax enough & other private things, but never mentioned the Bi issue although is obviously there.<P>Over lunch my daugther asked if we were going to see the OP's girl (she's in town visiting) and had invited my d over for the day (not an invitation that the child thought on her own of course); I didn't know about this invitation, but the my W told her that it would be better if we spend the day as a family 'cause we haven't seen much of each other all week. I saw some light. <P>In the evening we went food shopping and came back home, put the daughter to sleep, etc.<P>The only upset is that before she went to bed talked with OP on the phone for over an hour. I left her alone anyway and instead of pushing went to read some material from this web page that I printed so I can read it anywere.<P>Before she went upstairs she hugged me and kissed good night (on the cheek, but is something).<P>In my book, the balance is OK<P>ThisAlex<P>------------------<BR>If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to.

Forgot to mention that this morning we did the X-mas tree decoration and it was fun... it may our last X-mas together and both W & know it so it was very special, specially seeing my daugther so happy. She is a very special, happy & loving kid, neither of us want her to be hurt or unhappy no matter what.

Alex,<P>It's good to hear that the desparation is leaving you posts.<P>I know that feeling all to well.<P>This new approach is going to wear thin at times. We need to keep our objective in mind. And keep loving our wives even when they hurt us.<P>Lifes terms are not always how we would like them, so we have to roll with the changes.<P>Keep loving your wife with no expectations, and NO LOVEBUSTING!<P>We've got alot of work ahead of us and the path is not easy. I do believe the end results will be worth it.<P>You Keep At It,And I Will Too,<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Very Good!!!<P>I was wondering about that X-mas tree. The kiss and the hug is also good. WilliamJ is right there is going to be times that it will wear thin but stay strong.<P>Leaving her alone on the phone was excellent move but I know it was hard.<P>But between teh kiss, the hug, and the staement about being a family day is really good and I know it made you feel good too. This is a reward. Stay strong and there will be more.<P>But prepare yourself for the tests that are right around the corner, loose it again and you're back at square 1.<P>Making progress... it is slower at times than others but progress none the less.<P>Keep it up!!!<P>Genie

ThisAlex,<P>You sound WONDERFUL. And remember, forgiveness is a gift that you give YOURSELF! <P>Keep up the great attitude! <P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Bill, Gennie, Roll Me Away (that sounds kinda funny, doesn't it?<P>Thanx<P>ThisAlex<P>------------------<BR>If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to.

Food For Thought:<BR>Jesus directs us to pray, “Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.” In case that is not enough, Jesus reiterates that point just after he finishes the prayer. He goes on to say, “For if you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:12,14-15) <BR>Jesus is teaching us the power of taking down the walls between us. God can work when we are willing to let God move within us and among us. God cannot work if we keep up the walls, hold onto the pain, and look for ways to seek personal revenge. Confessional living is living with a spirit of forgiveness. Knowing the time is short. Knowing that we live in the in-between time. Knowing that we can be here today and gone tomorrow. We are charged to live in a community where forgiveness is practiced through confession and prayer. <P>Hope you can find some help in this,<BR>dj <BR>

DJ,<P>Right! Thank you.<P>ThisAlex<P>------------------<BR>If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of forgiveness.