My H calls me Wednesday from his apartment and says "I really need your help". I have a problem. Well in the past when he has asked for help it was to try and get over OW. A few hours later, Midnight to be exact, he calls and he is no longer the depressed soul who was on the phone earlier and everything is peachy. I knew then that they must have patched things up.<P>When he comes the next morning to take kids to school I asked what I could do to help and he said that everything was fine. I got pissed off and instead of Plan Aing as I should have I started talking about divorce and who he loved more. So we spent the day talking divorce.<P>Well then I find out that he and OW had been fighting about the fact that he was spending Friday in the mountains with me and the kids. He tells me that they have been fighting alot in the last couple of weeks and that we had been getting along better than they had. Major LB. <P>So I try to quickly recover. We decide to go ahead to the mountains with our kids. He says he wants to see if he can have a "good day" without thinking about her to much. So we go. I tell him the truth, that when he called for help I knew what was up. That I got upset that he couldn't just take the opportunity to split with her and it hurt me. I told him that I did not want to divorce, and that I intended to fight as long as I had to to save our marriage.<P>He said that right now he still loves her and that he can't stop seeing her. I told him that maybe she would be a real ***** some day and just piss him off. He said "that's what I'm hoping for." "But she's not like that." (what a fog he's in).<P>So if I stick to Plan A do you think I can undo the damage my divorce talk did on Thursday. He said they were fighting a lot lately about the time he's spending with us and he says we've gotten along better than him and OW lately. <P>Can I pull this off? Please pray for me! and I could use all the advise I can get.<P>BTW: I have a counseling appt. with a local counselor on Wednesday. I hope that will help me stick to plan A and be patient.

Just wanted to encourage you...we all blow it once in a while. I'm in much the same boat. H spends weekends with us, then has been spending weeknights with OW. Very difficult to keep from LB when we're together, but I know I MUST! <P>He, too, is having problems with OW about spending time with us. They've been fighting a lot, and now he's talking about us getting back together. (Yet, he hasn't made the move). <P>Give it TIME, and make the most of your time together. Ask God to give you strength--He will! It seems absolutely impossible at times--it's so unfair that WE have to do all the work--but our time will come.<P>So I will be praying for YOU -- and I would appreciate your doing the same for me. God is on OUR side, you know.

Well I think My h is also catching some heat from Ow just because he is talking to me. I mean so needs to know his wearabouts at all times. When we weren't getting along, she was a much happier person. Now that I go out of my way to kill him with kindness and be as nice as possible, she can't handle it. <P>My h also seems to try to avoid me when I am being nice to him. I think he just knows that he will end up fighting with OW if she knows that we speak. Well, sooner or later something is going to have to give because we have a long history together and 2 kids. <P>He can not ignore that.....I'm loving this and I am getting on with my life without him but I am anxiously waiting for the day when this all blows up in his face....

It sounds like you are really doing a great job! How long has he been in the fog????<P>I am really having a hard time with the fog thing. It is like his memory is warped. He is so disconnected and I think I prolonged the fog by telling him I don't want him sleeping with OP while we are married. And yet he won't talk about D.<P>He now says he doesn't want her, but he wants to work with her and have her as his friend. He doensn't have a clue that that is what is clouding his memory and keeping him disconnected!<P>