Chris,<BR>Sorry you had such a tuff week. <BR>Please take care of yourself.<BR>Spend some time with your kids, I've found that they do wonders to lift my spirits(when they aren't trying my patience).<P>Hang in there Chris !!!!<P>God Loves YOU.<P>God Bless<BR>Bob

Chris:<P>Sorry to hear you had such a tough week. But LOL at the country music---my wife did the same thing with the OM.<P>That's when I knew that she wasn't just "acting insane", but she was really, truly nuts... (apologies in advance to C&W fans). <P>Hang tough.

HEY!!! I like County music!! Don't say it.

Chris.<P>I am sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.<P>Lori

Chris,<P>Coming in late here, but see how much your post went from despair back to flippant! <P>Yeah, the old Chris we love!!!!!!!!!<P>Sorry your visit was bad - the funeral and seeing your W. SOOOOOO HAAARRRRRDDDDD on you and you are such a GOOD MAN!<P>Glad you got rid of those "I want to die" feelings!!!<P>Oh, and DON'T be zinging us that like a variety of music - INCLUDING country! <P>Keep the faith, friend. At least we all have each other!!!!<P>Luv Ya!!! HUGS {{{{{Chris}}}}}}}<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

I wish I had the words to make you feel better but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.<P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

Hi Chris -<P>Well, I am glad that she went....take two years off her future therapy!!!!!<P>I am also glad that you didn't know too much in advance....you would have gone nuts with the anguish of anticipation and wondering!!!<P>I am sorry, though that she was not the warmest human on earth (being nice!!!) and that there was apparently no discussion of "real" life....you know the one she left back here on earth!!<P>You got through it and despite the hell of the emotional torture....it had to have felt good just to see her!!!!<P>Every little input you give her will add up and it WILL have an impact....just have to wait to see when.<P>BIG HUGS,<P>Sheba <p>[This message has been edited by Sheba (edited December 06, 1999).]

Sheba, Yeah it was good to see her. She is so gorgeous with a beautiful smile. I really miss her.<P>i went to the psychologist a while ago. Gonna start doing some individual counseling. Also, I'm gonna take a few "tests" (perhaps lotsa electrodes & chemicals??? WOOHOO!) Nah, just some written stuff to evaluate "where I am."<P>He seems to think that she is pretty far gone. Not psychotic, but so far from reality. Granted he is only getting my side of the story, but I believe she has mucho problemos.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Hey Chris,<BR>I just took a personality test and with my counselor we are going to work on my low spots such as emotion and assertiveness(although I don't know if I need this now, see my "I almost got arrested tonite" post from Fri !).<P>While this won't help my current situation it should help me in the future.<P>The test results fit me to a T. I never took one before and after listening to my stbx, I wasn't sure if I had one, but I studied hard and got one !!!!!<BR>Bob

Chris,<P>I'm new here & don't know your story, but I know about pain and about suicides.<P>When I was 20 I lived w/ 2 other guys; one of them went off to see his mother to LA around November and came back a few weeks before X-mas (around the time I was moving out to a more comfortable apt.- there we didn't even have hot water) to find out his girlfriend was doing it with one of his best friends. A few nights later there was this party in the little house- I didn't go because I was still organizing my new place and thought about droping by the next morning to see he was doing. It was too late, after the last guest left he cleaned up the place and put a gun on his head. When they found him Bethoveen's "Pathetic" Symphony was still on the record player.<P>I don't know if I would had made a difference talking w/him. I know that we all, including his mother, his ex-girlfriend and this &^%$#@ that he though was his best friend felt guilty for not having been there for him.<P>When I was 27 my best friend's mother died, at 36 he was the younguest in his family and still living at home taking care of his almost 80-yr. old mother. He hated it and one time he even said he wished she was dead. One day his wish was granted & he couldn't stand the guilt- all her friends were trying to convince him that it was't his faut, she was old, etc. But he never forgave himself and also had a number of other problems so he commited suicide 6 months later, 2 weeks before his B-day. This time I had mixed feelings of guilt (what if I had said...? what if I had forced him to go to counceling...? what if...?) but also of anger because he gave up.<P>8 years ago on Father's Day a bunch of families gathered to celebrate the ocassion, we didn't go since my wife was finally pregnant after 6 years and it was a difficult pregnancy. One of my best friend's only son, 10-yr old (they also had a 5-yr. old girl) drowned in the pool. He didn't talk about any other issue for almost a year, then one week before the following Father's Day he killed himself.<P>Holiday Blues? Guilt? Desperation? I don't know, I know about the expressions of despair of those left behind, including children, family and friends, about our sense of hopelessness, about all that sadness.<P>Don't give, whatever happens, don't give up!!! You owe it to your children and yourself. If you run away there is no hope, If you stay around you'll learn and grow from this experience & will be a better father & in general a better person.<P>ThisAlex<P>------------------<BR>If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to.

Chris,<P>I think I forgot to mention how strong I think you are! I admire your grip on life and reality and your stick-to-it-ivness. Sorry I forgot to post that before - just didn't want you to hurt yourself! I hope I didn't make you mad - I am afraid thatI came across as unsympathetic, I apologize. I wanted you to think of your little girls, because when you're hurting as bad as you have been, you don't care about YOU anymore. Figured if you had your two superstars on your mind, it might help.<P>Khyra

I’m not going anywhere so don’t worry. This whole thing is just insane. My psychologist told me today that it seems more & more that it is her problem & not just about us or me. I tend to agree with that because she is showing nada, zilch, zippo! True I had/have some things I am working on, but you don’t just dump the kids and almost vanish for 10 months because I didn’t buy Coke.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>