Me again. Two questions.<P>Question 1:<BR>A question posed to me by my H again and again in our serious but sometimes heated conversations goes like this: (I know, avoid serious conversations, but pls read and help)<P>W: Do you think there is any hope, and we might be able to get back together someday?<P>H: And do what? Do what in this marriage, we've (I've) already tried? What would we do?<P>How do I answer that? What do I say? I have an idea but it's such a broad question. It's also like he's setting me up to tell him all the reasons I think "why" so he can shoot them down.<P><BR>Question 2:<BR>When I've asked my H if he wants to marry OW he adamantly answers "NO". I ask why, and he says "because .. I have trouble w/relationships."<P>I'd very much appreciate anyone's help with deciphering the "fogged-up" answers or questions being posed to me by H.<P>Think I should have made my forum name "Me Again" with so many posts. But you're All really helping.<P>Thank you,<BR>Jo

#1. <B>H: And do what? Do what in this marriage, we've (I've) already tried? What would we do?</B><P>We learn the <I>truth</I> of our relationship... of a good marriage...<BR>We learn...<BR><B><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3902_rules.html" TARGET=_blank>The Rule of Protection:</A></B> Avoid being the cause of your spouse's unhappiness. Wouldn't you, dear H, love to be protected?... I will protect you my dear H, and all your feelings.<BR><B><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3901_rules.html" TARGET=_blank>The Rule of Care:</A></B> Meet your spouse's most important <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html" TARGET=_blank>Emotional Needs</A>. Wouldn't you like, dear H, to have your needs met... unconditionally?... I will care for you.<BR><B><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3904_rules.html" TARGET=_blank>The Rule of Time:</A></B> Take time to give your spouse undivided attention. Wouldn't you like, dear H, to have time with someone who loves you as much as I do... I will give you my time.<BR><B><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3903_rules.html" TARGET=_blank>The Rule of Honesty:</A></B> Be totally open and honest with your spouse. Wouldn't you like, dear H, to open yourself and not be judged or put down or feel embarassed? I, dear H, will be honest with you and accept your honesty.<P>This isn't going to happen instantly...<BR>...but I am willing to put in the effort for the best life you can have!<P>We've tried...<BR>...but for the wrong things...<P>#2. <B>...he adamantly answers "NO". I ask why, and he says "because .. I have trouble w/relationships."</B>...<BR>We can learn, dear H, to do better than negotiate in a relationship... to be happy with our decisions....<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>(POJA)</A><BR>This too will take some practice...<P>We <B>CAN</B> get professional help... from the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html" TARGET=_blank>MB Counseling Center</A>.<P>We <B>CAN</B> get loads of support from the generous people at the MB forum... <P>I can't guarantee anything...<BR>...(this isn't Mr. Goowrench.... levity helps)<P>But in life you will always "need" relationships (whether with men or women)...<BR>...and I... your lover... can build with you the best.<P>---------------------------------------------<P>Now you go girl!<P> <P>Jim