My wife finally picked a weekend to attend Retrouvaille. She cleared her work schedule and I contacted the rep. I originally told her about Retrouvaille in February and she pushed it off. She said she was not ready. I haven't forced it on her, I just gave her the information and told her I thought it could help us. She has now agreed. We will be attending on the 23rd of June.<P>I know the general nature of the program, but do not know what to expect. What actually happens at the weekend? What kinds of things do they teach? Is it helpful and can it restore trust and bonding to a marraige?<P>Any thoughts. Please

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by john meade:<BR><B>My wife finally picked a weekend to attend Retrouvaille. She cleared her work schedule and I contacted the rep. I originally told her about Retrouvaille in February and she pushed it off. She said she was not ready. I haven't forced it on her, I just gave her the information and told her I thought it could help us. She has now agreed. We will be attending on the 23rd of June.<P>I know the general nature of the program, but do not know what to expect. What actually happens at the weekend? What kinds of things do they teach? Is it helpful and can it restore trust and bonding to a marraige?<P>Any thoughts. Please</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Great, happy for you! I heard about the program on this Board. My H and I are in joint counseling now, he drags himself along and participates minimally but that's a big step forward for him. There's no enthusiasm, no energy. But at least he's there. Our counselor and I are working on me keeping my mouth shut and my Vesuvius temper from erupting. (I told him in a phone call that if he needs to use a rolled-up newspaper to keep me from going off on a tangent, I am trainable! <P>Please after you go give details, my H would rather walk through broken glass than go to a marriage encounter or marriage retreat, but he's gone far enough as to join me in counseling and does homework as required though saying he doesn't get the point.<P>I'll be watching the Boards for your input.<P><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

My husband and I just attended a Retrouvaille weekend a few weeks ago. There are six Saturday follow-ups (6 hours each). We have attended one of those already. I think it is best to go without knowing all the specifics (exact format, etc). But basically you will learn ways to communicate your FEELINGS. It is not really about problem solving, but more learning how to understand how the other person feels. Understanding first how the other person feels should then help in problem solving as you begin to see the other person's perspective.<P>You can expect it to be a long week-end where you are working most of the time. The only breaks are to eat (and those aren't very long either). Don't expect to be socializing with other couples (discouraged) or even having free time for rest or recreation. The focus is on you as a couple - you and your spouse.<P>I think it can be very helpful in opening the lines of communication. That is a good start. Some couples did feel very close afterwards, some did not. It is a time for honesty about your feelings without having them judged or having to defend them. The follow-ups are good because they help you continue with the skills that were introduced and they also bring out other topics, such as conflict management. During the follow-ups you are encouraged to get to know the other couples and build a type of support around you for encouragement.<P>I do think it is worthwhile. The skills you learn can be used in all relationships, like with your children. For me it hasn't created "instant" resolution to problems (of course, but we would like that wouldn't we?), but it does give me things to think about and ways to communicate with my husband that are constructive.

I have been wanting to attend too, we missed the last one in our area and so I was looking for the next possible dates for us. Doesn't look like it will be till Fall. <P>

congratulations, john. That is really a good sign if she is willing to go.<P>Communication help can do nothing but help your situation. May help both of you feel understood and give you tools to understand.<P>God Bless.<BR>TNT