I was reading the post from, I believe, Heartpain? and thought I would throw in my positive two cents.<P>Discovery was May of last yr. The OW was my "best" friend also so I can relate to much of what was said. I will admit I have never hurt so much in my life but I can also say I have never loved someone so much in my life as I do my H at this time.<P>I think the way we handled things affected the outcome of our situation. What could've been the complete breakdown of our relationship became the turning point for the better. <P>The situation forced us to communicate and be honest with one another in order to get things back together. We started devoting TIME to really know each other again. We started scheduling "date nights" and being more thoughtful of one another.<P>I learned things I thought were important to him, weren't. I learned my house being clean wasn't nearly as important as going on a walk with my H.<P>I won't ever forget the painful experience this has been but I honestly know our relationship could not be what it is today without going through all that. If someone would have told me a yr ago that things could get better I wouldn't have believed them but it can.<P>I still see OW since we live in the same community with kids the same age and I still get a knot in my stomache but I am slowly learning to trust my H again.<P>As far as other friends go I will never be able to as trusting to another friend the way I was with the OW. For some reason that wound still festers and I can't break down that wall to be free to trust anyone else. Maybe that's good because it forces me to lean on my H for everything.<P>I want you guys to know I ache with those that are still trying to find a way to get better and I rejoice with those that are like me, working their way up the steep hill of complete reconciliation. I urge all to join me as I persevere up those slippery slopes and claim that hill in victory.<P>Did you guys hear the trumpet?, where is my white horse?

opps - sorry hit wrong button<p>[This message has been edited by bighope (edited June 02, 2000).]

Duck & Weave:<P><BR>I have been thinking of the two of you. Awesome is what I say, can you see the big smile!!! :-)<P>Email if you have the time.<P>JC

Thanks for posting this, Duck and Weave.<P>As I told heartache, it really helps me to know that there are folks out there who have survived!<P>All the best to you! --HBC

Hi DuckAndWeave,<P>I love your name It was my post you read-at least I think it was.<P>Isn't it geat to be where we are in our relationships? But don't you wish all those others could heal instead of being torn apart the way they are by a spouse who won't admit to or get out of a wrong situation? It is hard for me to appreciate all I do have when so many others are really having it rough.<P>I have a wonderful H. I always have had. I never ever dreamed he would be so darned dumb. Nor did I think my so called friend would be anywhere near that stupid. But boy were they.<P>The only thing I have to say is I am sure glad it waas them and not me-I can't imagine feeling so low and humiliated.<P>And..........it has done nothing but strengthen our marriage. H is finally aware of my needs. As I said-he has always been a good H but he was a workaholic. Now he isn't. And he chooses to spend his days off with the family. I love it!!!!<P>Best wishes for an even better next year.<P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<BR>"Loyalty Is A Two Way Street"<BR>

<B>Hey guys!!!!!</B><P> [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] <P>Alex