Recap of the year's events: Found out about PA on 9 January. Found out about new internet relationships in March. Found out about three-year-long phone sex affair in April.<P>News: on 2 June I found more new internet relationships. H refused to show me his laptop. I gave him the choice of showing me the laptop or leaving. He left.<P>I guess I at least know where I stand. --HBC

Are you okay HBC? How are you feeling about his leaving? Ultimatums are pretty hard to do sometimes. But you followed thru and I'm proud of you. He has lots to think about now and alot to lose.<P>Give him some time, and in the meantime you stay strong and take care.<P>Jo

No, Josey, I am not okay. But thanks for asking.<P>I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing, but I'm not sure I'm not. I'm just not sure. <P>Maybe this will bring him around. Maybe not. At least I will be able to face myself. --HBC

HBC,<BR>i'm sorry to hear of the years events for you. at this point i wish i had some sound advise to give to you, but i am stuck inside my own head full of demons these past couple days. again, with such awful things happening in our lives here, i can't thank you enough for offering your thoughts to me as we both are hurting very much. <P>i can offer you my thoughts and prayers, in hopes that you are doing the right thing for YOU, by implementing a plan-b of sorts, and that your H will come around in realizing what he is doing not only to you, but to himself.<P>*(*(*(HurtButCoping)*)*)*<P><BR>

I don't know your story entirely and I'm pretty new to the board and MB.<P>I just think if you've given someone an ultimatum then it's almost always best to follow thru.<P>You were protecting yourself from more pain by doing so. Has he contacted you yet? If so, try to be calm when talking to him. No LBing. <P>I wish there was more I could do ... I feel terrible for you. You don't deserve this.<P>If you need to talk I'll be here.<P>Jo

HBC,<P>Sometiems we gotta do what we gotta do. There's only so much a person can take, and each person has his/her own limits. You've obviously reached yours. Don't beat yourself up about it. You wouldn't have given him the choice if it had been a small matter to you.<BR> <BR>This stuff with your H sounds like it's been going on for a long time. It won't turn around in a day (though I truly wish it would!), and you've got to be strong and hang in there.<P>We all are enchanted by the wonderful times we live in, but we don't realize what technology has done to us. Can you imagine a man in the 1940's having phone sex for hours on end with someone thousands of miles away? 20 years ago, the term cybersex would've had us all scratching our heads, trying to figure out what the he** it meant. People battle it everyday, now. With the good comes the bad. It makes me wonder exactly where we're headed.<P>Hang in there. You're not alone. Take it one step at a time, one day at a time, one hour at a time. We're all here to lend a shoulder and help you through this, no matter what.<P>2sad<P>

HBC, I am so sorry to hear this bad news. It sure seems like when it rains it pours.<P>My personal opinion is that your H hsa a serious problem that he has to address and work on. I am not sure what part you can play in that other than being supportive in the event he does get help. If he doesnt want help I suggest you look out for what is best for you. <P>I will add you to my prayers tonight and pray for some sort of help in this awful situation.<P>I hope it helps you jsut to know you have many friends here that will be herre whenever you need us.<P>Hang tuff!!<P><P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<BR>"Loyalty Is A Two Way Street"<BR>

HurtButCoping,<P>{{{{{{{{{{HurtButCoping}}}}}}}}}...<P>I really sorry for the pain your in...<BR>...it cuts so deep and wide.<P>Take comfort in what people tell you...<P>And in time... after the hurt subsides a bit... work out a plan for you!<P>I, being an advocate of the MB principles, would say that maybe you take a slightly different path....<P>I'd say... you are in need of an immediate Plan B...<BR>a. apologize for throwing him out so quickly<BR>b. think through how you can separate<BR>c. get together a Plan B letter (this is a <B>love letter</B>!<BR>d. read up on Plan B... all you can... and ask for support from the people here!<P>First... though... your pain has to cme down a few levels...<P>I'll be praying for that... <P>Jim

HBC,<P>I cannot blame you for what you did. Bless your heart! <P>The ultimate lack of betrayal is that he chose to leave over being honest and showing you the laptop..but what choice did you have really? <P>Your husband needs help, period! If you hadn't stood your ground you would have been condoning his actions, and although you might have "peace" in that he would be there instead of the turmoil you're going through with him being gone, you would have still felt beat up, hurt, angry.<P>Hang in there kiddo!<P>Windy<P>