I should have never got the mail today. Large envelope from my attorney. Stbx has a new attorney now.....filed emergency petition for sale and possession of the marital residence, counseling for the minor children, and summer visitation, for contempt and attorney fees.<P>5 pages of stuff.<P>Also filed a civil action suit against me.<P>So on June 20th I go to court...again...and will probably lose the house and everything else. Also....I believe this is the way he will get the children without going through a custody battle.<P>He told the girls on May 10th that he was going to file a bunch of stuff on their mom and also have her arrested and that they would probably throw away the key.<P>Well it took him about 21 days...but he did it.<P>I am scared to death and have been sick over it today. <P>I am on probation for that harassing communications call to the OW....and if I do one thing wrong everything is revoked and I have to spend 60 days in jail.<P>Why is he doing this? How can a person be so cruel? He is lying through his teeth on all of this.<P>In the petition he is claiming he is 30,000.00 in debt and that each month he goes 1,000.00 more in debt due to paying the marital obligations, child support, and HIS living expenses.<P>But get this.....he just moved into a new apartment that costs about 350.00 more a month.....got cosmetic work done on his teeth....had the Mustang repainted and a new top put on it....jetted off to Las Vegas...goes golfing about once a week.....goes to bars and out to eat almost every night....has no less than 10 -15 new suits hanging in his closet, and bought a new TV, stereo, VCR and surround sound.<P>And he is claiming hardship. Imagine that.<P>Now I know why I am so mental<P>Nancy

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

<<<<<<<<<<<<<< NANCY >>>>>>>>>>>>>><BR> Sorry it's so ugly for you!! Man, they really can be cruel huh? I think WE betrayed should all go on a cruise and charge it to our WS's credit cards!! We could call it the "FANTASY CRUISE" and we'll charter the ship for 2 years (until the fantasy is over) Some would have to get off and go home in 6 months, some would stay for the whole two years!! At least the "Long term veterans (Like me 9 months) would have a REALLY BIG hang over when it was over!! <BR> That'd be fun huh? <BR> I guess I just wanted to know I'm (we're) here for you. GOOD LUCK & PRAYERS FRANK

Nancy,<P>Big hugs and prayers for your upcoming ordeals, I hope that most of the charges brought against you will be easy to dismiss, but even so you might have to protect yourself, and get another one of these assh^H^H^H^Hlawyers in action to prepare a good defence.<P>There is nothing as terrible as nasty legal fights for divorce, especially where there's children and money involved... I hope and pray, that you have enough ressources to fight this, both emotionally and financially -- In other words: <B>Do not give up!</B>, nothing is lost yet, and even though the future looks dark right now, all the dark clouds might suddenly disappear and the Sun shining through (I will pray for this to happen).<P>There is one <I>trick</I> that might work in your favor, it's subtle and it might not work, but here it goes:<BR>When you go to court, do not wear your best clothes, jewelry or other items that would display wealth to the court, use clothes that show some wear and tear, but try to make the best appearance with what you've got. If your H shows up in some of his new suits and overtly outranks you financially he might have a real hard time explaining that he's the one who have financial problems and be believed.<P>Hopes and prayers for you and the kids, SadMan

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Nancy}}}}}}}}}}}}}},<P>I feel so bad for you...<P>What the court system allows these days... is immoral, unethical, and downright evil. We are reliving the days of Sodom and Gamora!<P>I'm praying for you today...<BR>...and from this day forward.<P> <P>Jim

Nancy,<P>I'm so sorry for what your H has been putting you though all these months. I've followed your story, and everytime i read i can't believe my eyes, and i end up having to pick my jaw up off the floor.<P>This latest series of events is just unbelieveable! I wish i could offer you some sound advise, or some comforting words, but i know nothing will help how you feel until you are vindicated. I hope and pray every day for you that the court system will see through the myriad of lies and manipulations that your H has put you through and he will get what is coming to him.<P>My prayers and thoughts will remain with you throughout your ordeal.<P>Please try to keep your chin up, and remember, you know what's really going on here, you are not the bad guy here..and soon enough the truth will come out.<P>Hugs to you nancy,<BR>CDA

Nancy, Have your lawyer bring the tapes you gave him of h ranting and raving, plus record any calls you recieve from him between now and court. He will have to show you are in contempt, and to prove that you are doing anything wrong. Have your lawyer there to answer his accusations.<P>He can accuse you all day long, but he will have to have proof of some sort.<P>No matter what, do not go off on him on the phone or otherwise, he may be recording too.<P>As for him having the house sold out from under you, it may not be that easy. <P>I'll be praying for you.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Nancy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR><P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>Hepatitis C, educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://hepatitis-central.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://hepatitis-central.com/</A>

Nancy,<P>I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Your H is such a jerk!<P>Is your H the one who stomped on your daughter's foot? I apologize if my memory is not that great.<P>If he is the one, make sure that your attorney knows about this.

HI Mental,<BR>I am so very sorry to read this. Please be careful.<BR>Keep it together! You have to. No calls, no nothing with h. <BR>Think, then act. Think, then talk!!!<BR>((((hugs))) and prayers.

Mental:<P>Can you countersue contempt charges on him for 'gaslighting' you? Print up all your postings here on the forum and highlight the parts pertaining to what your spouse and the OW are doing to you and the parts where you have been harassed and threatened and the abuse and take them with you to court.<P>If you have some documentation (everything here is stamped with time and date) to provide the judge and the attorneys, you won't get caught off guard not being able to remember things when you are emotionally upset in a court setting getting beat up by the jerks across the aisle.<P>You are in my prayers. I am so sorry you are going through this awful time.<P>Blessings.<P>Catnip =^^=

Oh man ... this is horrible, Mental. I'm truly sorry.<P>How can he get possession of the family residence and custody? What do you think his attorney is basing it on? And what's this civil action suit about?<P>You do have an attorney, right?<P>He's being terrible by showing your children all this disrespect of their mother. Why would he want to hurt you so badly? You don't deserve this. I know one day he'll regret many of the hurtful things he's done. Unfortunelty, by then, it'll be too late.<P>A prayer is being said.<BR>Jo

I am not surprised, and hopefully the court can see these are reatiatory charges as a result of his own bonafide contempt charges you filed against him.<P>I hope your attorney does not negotiate away his contempt charges. You have been watching your p's and q's, so hopefully he has to prove his allegations he will look worse than when he started this entire mess.<P>Financial issues are so cut and dry, that I think this can be the least of your troubles. He is just trying to use "offense" as a good defense. He knows he hasn't been paying his support timely - part of the reason your attorney filed those contempt charges to begin with - it is only logical that he would try and do this.<P>Don't be surprised, okay? And don't let this weigh you down. It is part of the rotten ole' process. Think about the big picture - you have so much evidence against him, that by him doing this - it is finally probably going to come out.<P>Keep focused, this is only a battle and not the final outcome of the war. <P>The kids are what is important, don't lose sight.<P>TNT

Nancy--<P>When's your appt. with your attorney?<P>Sounds like you either need a full hearing so your attorney can address all these new purchases/activities of stbx, or your attorney can send some interrogatories questioning these same issues and possibly back the hearing date up until after you receive his answers. The judge is going to look at this evidence and tell him he needs to curb his OWN spending habits, not tamper with the child support.<P>Poor baby, life is awfully hard on him, huh. I'd love to wring his neck for you.<P>What is this about a civil suit?<P>Hang in there. You're made of stronger stuff than even you know!!<P>{{{{{{{{{Nancy}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Laura

Stayed up all night Saturday and finished up some stuff on Sunday and ran it to my attorney today.<P>He happened to be at the copy machine when I came in to drop off some stuff so we went back in his office and talked. He seems very confident about the case and about our trial on June 20th. He looked over what I brought and says that many of the things prove that stbx is a liar. <P>Had my first session with the new evaluator for custody tonight. It went OK. He had some interesting things to say about the old evaluator and saw alot of things she did wrong.<P>But am still not sure it went ok....who knows.<P>Thanks everyone for replying....this whole divorce and custody battle has really taken a toll on me.....but I am still holding up and am fighting with a new vengence<P>Nancy

Just stopping by to let you know you're in our prayers.<P>I am so sorry, Hon.<P>Lori

I am so sorry about this latest attempt to make your children and your life miserable! He is a sick man and hopefully, the Karma will come back and come back quick with a vengence!!!! <P>Prayers are with you...<P>