I just found out that my H's whore is back in town and that he shared with her the messages on this board. <P>I am not planning on posting any more because I don't feel I have anything positive to say lately. The bigger reason though is that I have felt enough humiliation and would hate for the wicked witch to know my every thought and feeling by simply looking it up here. I believe she is the type of woman who delights in the power she feels from my situation. I don't want to give her any more glee than she has already experienced.

Popeye,<BR> You don't need to leave.Who cares what she thinks?If she's reading these posts,then maybe we can tell her a thing or two.<BR> She may think she's hot [censored],but maybe if she reads enough of these posts,she'll begin to realise that she's nothing but a two-bit,marriage-wrecking,husband-stealing,worthless piece of nothing with no morals,integrity,or decent set of values.I could probably go downtown,and find 100 more just like her,that would show me a good time for twenty bucks.Don't leave,Popeye,people here do care about you,even if your H doesn't .<P> --Murph

DON'T LEAVE!<P>You con't have to leave just because she's here. I agree w/Murph, she will probably gain some insight from reading posts, especially the ones from "Poorme". <P>This woman is only human and may see that what she is doing is wrong and that "YES" it can and almost certainly will happen to her too. If she doesn't think so then she's got the brains of a goldfish.<P>All your heartfelt and honest posts will be a testament to her that you are not that bad, evil or *****y wife that your H needs to escape from. It points to the fact he is selfish, inconsiderate, immature, pompous and untruthful. What a prize. And if she thinks he's going to be any different w/her ... like I said brains of a goldfish.<P>She can't have any self respect or dignity if she's hooking up w/a married man. She KNOWS it's wrong in her heart. She knows it'll fail miseably, maybe not tomorrow, but soon enough. And now she has these posts from "Poorme" and you to use as a yardstick to measure when her day is here. A day with just as much hurt and pain as you're experiencing. <P>Don't leave Popeye. You need us and we you. Stay and post. Don't run, be brave and stay, you've done nothing wrong and don't need to leave. Their wrong, you're in the right. You're his wife!<P>Jo

Don't go Popeye! We'll miss you! If you think you'll miss us too, I hope you'll rethink your decision about posting. That wretched OW has already stolen your H. Don't let her steal anything else that's important to you. If she wants to read what's here, then let her read it. Let it be her undoing, not yours. I know you're feeling down, Popeye. You've lost something important to you. It will pass and you will rise above it. I know you will.

They are peas in a pod and laugh at all of us here. They think we are co-dependent losers who are so pathetic that all we have to do all day is whine and cry over being left because we are not worth staying with. He made sure I knew how he felt and that they discussed it.<P>I just posted an awful rant and would simply die for HER to know how hurt I am and how successful she and he have been at ruining my whole life. She already has a window into my past through my H. She's used every ounce of information, posing as a concerned friend, to manipulate the situation to her advantage. I will be da**ed if I am going to give her one more ounce of satisfaction or ammunition to use against me.<P>My H is not bright enough to plot and scheme, but she is and does.

Popeye,<P>Post away ... they are fooling themselves.<P>I know you know this and believe it, Karma lives ...<P>And what goes around comes around.<P>We should be praying for them. <P>Jo

Popeye,<P>First of all, I want to say, I am so sorry this is happening to you!! You deserve so much better. It's really sickening to think that that OW is continuing to try and screw with your life, as if she hasn't lowered herself enough already. It's ridiculous for her to feel like she has power, when really she lacks so much positive power that I KNOW you have!! She's obviously delusional and is in need of a HUGE reality check!! Women who delight in screwing people's lives up are by no means powerful... in fact most of the world looks at those women as nothing more than home wrecking losers. So if in her mind she is getting pleasure from the pain she feels she inflicts, it only goes to show what a shallow intellect she really has!<P>Now secondly, I really hope to see you around. I have gained a lot by reading your posts and conversing back and forth with you. Also, if you do decide to leave for good, let the pregnancy/child board know also, as I'm sure some of those posters don't post or read this forum regularly. I do wish you the best of luck. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Hi Popeye,<P>I don't know much about your story, but I can relate a bit on your concern about OW reading your posts. I have changed my idenity on this board because I have fears that OW is looking for things I may post online. She knows I want my husband back. I really don't know if she is lurking here or not, but I have become paranoid over this.<P>She is also using things my H told her about me to try and keep him. He has left her before to come back and work on marriage only to be drawn back to her. I do believe she is using the negatives to lure him back.<P>My H is a smart man and does see through this and I just have to keep pushing the good side of me. I have asked him if he has told her anything good about me and he only said that he has told her I am a good wife and mother which completly boggles my mind. Why is he with her??? <P>This board is important to share your thoughts,questions,vent,etc... If it need be then I would suggest changing your user name. The problem with that is no one here will know who you are unless you spill the beans. OP would have to spend a lot of time figuring out who you are and if she has to hunt you down like that then you know for sure she is very insecure with her relationship with your H and will give you more power overall.<P>Good Luck<P>

<BR> Co-dependant Losers?! <BR> I wouldn't call somebody who's trying to save their marriage from becoming another divorce statistic a loser.Besides,anyone who can't find a relationship with somebody who's not already married,but goes after another person's spouse,is a big,pathetic LOSER,with a capital"L".So there.... <P> Your whole life isn't ruined by by these two losers.Rise above that.You're better than them.You have a whole,new life ahead of you.I didn't think so at first,either,but now I know better.She doesn't give a [censored] how hurt you are,obviously.These kind of people never do.Don't waste your time trying to tell her.<BR> A"concerned friend",huh?The only thing I'd be concerned about,is getting this piece of work out of my life.Don't let her beat you down,she's not worth it.She'll get hers one day,you can count on that.And if she has your H wrapped around her little finger,that won't last forever,either.<BR> Don't worry about giving her more"ammunition".She,or your H,can't hurt you if you don't let them.Just put a wall up in front of you so that it doesn't get through.Besides,you're not alone in this,you have people here behind you 100%.Get strong,and don't let them hurt you anymore.Keep on posting! <P> --Murph

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by popeye:<BR><B>They are peas in a pod and laugh at all of us here. They think we are co-dependent losers who are so pathetic that all we have to do all day is whine and cry over being left because we are not worth staying with. He made sure I knew how he felt and that they discussed it.. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>They laugh do they ? Hmmmm, I think I know now why your h deleted some of his post that talked about him wanting to know if he had a chance to work it out with you. He did it so she wouldn't know she is the booby prize.<P>I think it was a very cruel and sick thing for your h to tell her where you post, this was your safe place, don't let them take that away from you. I think your h wants you to leave here, not to have a support system. <BR>Don't let him or her make you leave here ! <P>Now excuse me a minute Popeye, while I speak with them.<P>Poorme and Broadzilla,<P>If you think I'm a loser then tell me why my h came back to me after his affair, why have I been married to the man for 22 years ?<P>Let me inform you two of something. There is a thing called commitment, it means you don't run from a relationship just because you don't get your way, like poorme did.<P>There is unconditional love, it means I love you no matter that you mess up, no matter that you aren't what I want you to be. If a parent has alzhimers do you walk away from them because they can't function anymore ? If your child messes up and gets caught up in drugs, or alcohol, do you disown them ?<BR>We love our spouses, we are commited to them.<BR>Maybe one day you will learn the meaning of unconditional love. But somehow I just don't see it happening.<P>Broadzilla, if you think you are getting a man who knows what commitment and loyality and honesty and fidelity and unconditional love is , honey you are sadly mistaken.<P>I really feel sorry for you, because I have no doubt in my mind that one day you will be here or on a board similar to this one, crying about him cheating on you. <P>The man you are with has no idea what love really means, he has shown that by his posts here, of course he deleted most of what he said. But the jest of what he had to say was, she should do what I want her too, because I want her to do it, and I want her to do it when and how I want it done.<P>You just wait and see my dear, you are in for one heck of a ride. I don't envy you.<P>Remember this, because when not if but when it happens to you, I want you to remember that you were warned, If he'll do it to someone with you, eventually he will do it to you with someone else.<P>Laugh now while you can !<P>Popeye, I am sorry if I have offended you by my post. But I have no patience with people who get their jollies laughing at other peoples pain. None at all !<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>Hepatitis C, educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://hepatitis-central.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://hepatitis-central.com/</A>

Popeye,<BR>Please don't go anywhere. I feel that I have met a friend that understands all my pain and hurt. A friend who can help me...when I am down and feel I have no one to talk to.<P>All of this sucks....hurts so bad.<P>Hell, I would do anything to have my stbx or his OW or even his family lurk on these boards...read some of the posts from betrayed and even the betrayer. They might learn something...not see everything as black and white.....right or wrong.<P>And boy...if she read any of his posts....she would run away quicker than crap.<P>But please keep us all in your thoughts...we would miss your wonderful replies and those vents that bring us all closer together. I do know how you feel...I do know that this is the last place you ever thought you would be. <P>Also, we need your help too....some of the things you are facing now...I am too. I need to know that someone understands me. Some posters here don't have the vindictive, wicked WS like I think we do. <P>please stay<P>Nancy<BR>

UNBELIEVABLE!<P>Poorme deleted his revealing posts. What a coward. What a devious thing to do so your mistress doesn't know what she's REALLY getting into.<P>Doesn't that make you think, Poorme's mistress? I mean really, why would he delete them if he wasn't ashamed or hiding something? It's not rocket science or a trick question. HE'S HIDING SOMETHING!<P>It's already started, he's lying and pretty soon will be the cheating, if he hasn't already. You're in for the ride of your life. I'm sorry for you, you know what you're doing is wrong but chose it regardless. I'm sorry for you.<P>Jo

Since I can't post how I feel or how this is affecting me, I would like to say thanks to all of you for your support.<P>Broadzilla- I like that! <P>Broadzilla doesn't care that he has a wife. She was around way before I met him. She was sleeping with him when she had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend. She is married now and doesn't care. She's spent 3 weeks this whole year with her family across country. The rest of the time, she has been living with MY HUSBAND. Do you really think this woman cares about him? I think it is about power and conquest. Let's see how much I can make him dance. If she can control him and take him away from the thing he holds most dear, isn't she powerful and mighty? I think she is jealous because he didn't end up with her years ago. Envy is a powerful motivator.<P>I could say more, but I will stop there. Not giving her any more ammo.<P>This too shall pass...

Popeye:<P>Change your identity on the forum, but please don't leave. We need you and I know you need us, too.<P>I'd hate to have THEIR karma. Can you image the horrible evil they are unleashing onto themselves? Ugh.<P>Please e-mail me @ kmkofflin@aol to keep in touch while you transition into your new identity.<P>Just the fact your spouse has to drag the whore onto the forum with their petty smugness shows his desperate desire for validation. <BR>By mocking the people on this site and their desire to keep their families together shows the depth he and the whore have sunk...they would do better (and belong)on Jerry Springer.<P>By not having the dignity and respect for you to leave the marriage gracefully instead of childishly trying to mock you shows what a pathetic loser HE is. I wish him everything he deserves. Shame on him--and on her and on the several other women he is currently playing with.<P>Catnip =^^=

Until you transition, you can get in touch w/me too Popeye.<P>Either:<P>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>or Joanne.Merriam@Intel.com<P>Jo

Popeye,<P>Feel free to kep in touch with me if you'd like.... madelinegrace@hotmail.com<P>Take care, and I hope to see you around, for your sake and ours!!

popeye,<BR>I gave you my e-mail on the divorce/divorcing board...but just in case<P>Kenizanasshl@aol.com<P>Please e-mail...keep in touch...we all care so much. I would love to hear from you

Popeye, I support your wise decision to leave this board. Having your WS and the OW see everything posted here now & ridiculing you for it is a very good reason. Another good reason is that using the board has not helped you to rebuild your marriage, although it has made you and others in similar predicament feel better, sometimes. Why is it that whenever anyone on the board decides to leave, everyone else jumps in to persuade the person otherwise? And the person usually gets persuaded in the end. It may sound harsh, but maybe there is some truth to the 'co-dependency' accusation of those two losers, afterall? But boy, this board can really be addicting. I'll try not to fall for that bad aspect of it, though I'm learning a lot from this board. So popeye, maybe email is a better option for you & others who wish to keep in touch. I wish you good luck in trying to start fresh in your life. You're a good woman.

KenB,<P>Popeye isn't leaving because she wants to, she's leaving because of her h and broadzilla. <P>If it was because she wanted to, then people would have said we wish you wouldn't go, but we understand the need to go.<P>And there are still many people here who weren't able to rebuild, but that is not the only reason to post. This board is to offer support, friendships are made on this board, that are every bit as real and as deep as friendships made face to face. Why should any of us have to give that up, no matter what happens to our marriages ?<P>New people come here everyday, they need to hear not only people who have managed to rebuild, but also those who have not. Not every marrige can or will be saved, who will comfort those who don't make it with true understanding if not others who have walked the path before them and are able to say, I survived this, you can too ?<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>Hepatitis C, educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://hepatitis-central.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://hepatitis-central.com/</A> <p>[This message has been edited by Bozos_ Deb (edited June 11, 2000).]

But Deb, popeye has her good reasons for deciding to leave the board. From what I've read, I just happen to agree with her. At least an indefinite break from the board won't be too bad. She can still keep in touch with friends like you by email, if she prefers, without having her personal views & feelings revealed to people she doesn't care to reveal herself to. Taking a leave seems to be her only way of minimising her distress at the moment.<BR>