{{{{Popeye}}}},<P>I am not ashamed to say there is love here... for you... <P>Co-dependence no... just love...<BR>...the kind your H and OW won't know for quite some time... <P>Do create a new identity... new e-mail... and of course make them so obscure that no one will figure it out!<P>For a while... e-mail us individually...<BR>Check out... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000166.html" TARGET=_blank>Roll Call Index</A>.<P>I'm praying for your H... (the need is great)<BR>I'm praying for his OW... (also a great need)<P>...but most of all for you popeye... while your need is not as great as your H's or OW's... it is a gift to a dear women. <P>Jim

I don't know what to say Popeye. Some spouses are a bit mean and uncaring, most are thoughtless during an affair, but Poorme just came across as a jerk. And his latest actions solidfied my opinion.<P> It is uncomfortable, to put it the mildest terms, to think that your honest thoughts will be a source of amusement or used ammunition against you. I can see why you feel you have to leave, although I am more than sorry to have you go. And I am outraged that you should feel driven away by such as these.<P>Do what you feel you need to do and take care of yourself.

Popeye:<P>When I first came to this board you were one of the first people who helped me with your words of wisdom. Although I agree that your H has placed you in the position of no longer being able to express your personal experiences on this board, you still have a lot to contribute. Your experience has brought you general relationship and MB insight that you can share if you stay around to help us....and in return you may still learn a little from our struggles. <P>How sick your H must be to try to use your support system to his advantage (although the OW sounds like this would be right up her alley). Why do they need to do this anyway? What advantage would they derive?<BR>Is there some clue in your posts that would divert them from their present activities?<BR>Sounds more like they're just messing with your head, but unfortunately you can't take the chance. <P>You once wrote to me that only I could decide what was the right thing to do and I think we will all understandd if you decide to leave, but if you do we will miss you.<P>Buffy<BR>

Hi Popeye,<P>You probably don't know me as I don't post much any more but I wanted you to know that I can relate to what you are going through.<P>I found this place last August I believe it was. D-Day for me was June1, 1999. I was so very grateful to find MB and to know that I wasn't alone and that I could post questions, feelings, vents............... Then one day I see a psot from a person and it jsut hit me square in the gut. I knew it was the other half of the OW's marriage. I posted right there on his thread that I knew who he was. I felt guilty reading what he was posting even though he and I had talked on more than one occasion.<P>He finally posts back that he will leave since he can't be at MB in a more "private" way. Heck, all I was doing was letting him know I was there also.<P>Later on down the road he started making comments to my posts that were rude-but I knew how very rude they were more than most people here knew. Finally the OW gts on MB and claims to have been here long before I ever was and so on and so forth.<P>I knew right then that I could no longer post. Her H was angry that I hadn't anything nice to say about his wife. This person was supposedly my best friend. She hurt me incredibly as did my H. And yet he was very rudely pointing out how many psots I had on MB and how I was flaming his W. Excuse me-but the posts I put on MB weren't meant for him or her. They were for me and my healing.<P>It has been over a year since D-Day and while I have improved there is still much-way too much-anger within me. The pain is always there. And soemthing is wrong with me because I can't get over it? I don't think so! I just happen to be a person who cares deeply for those she believes are friends and spouse.<P>I can't figure out why your H and the OW would want to wasate their time here if they are so happy with each other. Sounds to me more like they haven't anything better to do What a sad thought.<P>I will pray for you to find another way to help you heal while you get through a new batch of torment.<P>Best wishes!!<P><P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<BR>"Loyalty Is A Two Way Street"<BR>

KenB,<P>I am not saying Popeye is wrong for leaving now, I am saying that it is wrong for her to <B> have </B> to leave, this wasn't something she <B> wanted </B> to do. It is something her h and broadzilla have left her no choice but to do.<P>I hate to see her leave for any reason execpt<BR>that is is what she <B> wants </B> to do.<P>I am angry that broadzilla and poorme have left her no choice but leaving to keep some dignity. <P>Popeye brings a lot to this board, I may not agree with her on every point, but she does have a lot to offer.<P>I understand why she has to go, but I darn sure don't have to like it. IMHO her h telling ow about her posting here is almost as big a betrayal as the affair. IMHO it shows a complete lack of respect for popeye.<P>If she did not want/need to be here anymore it would be diffrent. <P>Now do you understand what I am trying to say ?<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>Hepatitis C, educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://hepatitis-central.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://hepatitis-central.com/</A>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bozos_ Deb:<BR><B>KenB,<P>...<BR>Now do you understand what I am trying to say ?<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I do, Deb, thanks for explaining <BR>

Hi Popeye,<P>I don't respond too much anymore but I read most of your Posts and Replies to others. You have so much advice and support to offer. I hope you won't leave this forum, but if you do, I will understand.<P>I think that it is pathetic and cruel that the OW & Your H comes to this forum and ridicules people who are hurting and in pain from infidelity. It shows what lack of character they really have.<P>I remember replying to Poorme's Post awhile back. He sounds very confused and it didn't appear that he wanted to be with OW anymore.<P>OW, if you are reading this....Poorme edited his Posts because he doesn't want you to read that he wanted to reconcile with Popeye. Too bad that I didn't print out his posts because I'd put them all back so that you can see what he wrote. After reading his posts, I'm sure that you won't be laughing anymore!<BR>

No Trust: <P>I concur! I especially liked "poorme's" post (to paraphrase) about how Popeye is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, THE MOST INTELLEGENT, THE SEXIEST woman he has ever known and how deeply he loved her. He said much more than that, but that should give the OW the 'gist' of "poorme's" initial offering here on the forum.<P>Catnip =^^=

You know what....<P>email people that you are close to with your new username....that way the the OW won't know ...... just an Idea.....s