When I got home from work toaday, there is amessage on the answering machine. Our 10 year old left a message in a very sad voice, that they were going to Tennessee. He has no family there...we have only stayed there a couple times on our way to Mississippi for family vavcations.<P>You can hear him in the background telling her what to say.<P>I am scared...this man is fighting for custody. Is he going to bring them back? Why would he not tell me of the plans before hand?<P>I have no idea where they will be....the phone number...anything.<P>I called my attorney. Of course, every county around us demands that the other parent be notified of going out of state...yet not mine. Every other county states that I, the custodial parent, must agree and has the right to say no. Not mine.<P>My attorney said it will not look good that he did this...but in the other counties, he would be charged with kidnapping, and arrested immediatley. <P>He always get by with everything. He can do what ever he wants and he has the balls to file contempt charges against me?<P>Nancy

Just wanted you to know that somebody heard your voice. I'm sorry this happened. I sure hope everything comes out all right for you and you children.<P>Big prayers going up for you.<P>Slightly Sane<BR>

Mental<P>He will not get by with doing this..believe this and it will be true..<P>My thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughters.......<P>You control your own thoughts and your own happiness......You can control this.....<P>Do not let it get the betterof you ..Do not panic......step back, take a deep breath and try something different. <P><BR>BTW...I live in TN....let me know where they are and I'll intercept!!!!!!

I know, I worry too much. If they ever call...I will let you know where they are. Maybe you could spy on them for me. LOL<P>I guess I am a little afraid because I haven't heard from them and they, accorfing to the voice mail, left at about 11:00 am. It is after 7:00pm here and still no call.<P>There has to be a law or something about this. He would try and get me in so much trouble if I would have done something like this.<P>My attorney seems amused by all of this....he can't believe stbx is so stupid for pulling yet another dumb act when he is fighting for custody....or not fighting for custody...who knows.<P>The thing that kills me too is that he had no plans to do this. By the sounds of things they are just going to drive until they find somewhere to stay. How is that for stability.....he sounds more like someone who just does things on the spur of the moment.....like I have said before....I swear he is bi-polar. Doesn't think before he acts...spends money like he has 2 money trees out back...and again thinks only of himself.<P>Nancy

Mental:I hope you hear from them soon to put your mind at ease...<P>This is just so hurtful when they ws acts out in a hurtful way to get at you which is not in the kids best interests.<P>(((((((((((((((((Nancy)))))))))))))))))<BR>Thinking of you

You're saving that voice mail, right?? What nerve! For your kids' sake, I hope they'll have a reasonably good time with their dad. It would be so nice if they have good memories to save from this time. Meanwhile, you're going to need every relaxation technique from every book ever written on the subject. It'll be hard for you to keep your stress under control. My heart goes out to you! Breathe deep. Remember a time in your life when things were good, and have faith that you'll have that feeling again someday.

Nancy - <P>I'm still reading and keeping up with you, Honey.<P>Looks like before it's all over, he'll dig his own grave.<P>You keep being strong for you and those girls.<P>Love and prayers,<P>Lori

ugh. i took my kids out of state, but i asked a lawyer, and she told me to get an agreement in writing that it's ok, so i wrote up a lame little letter for both of us to have a copy of and sign. she told me it would look good for my custody case in the future. your H is LAME for pulling this crap. did you ever get a report about him breaking your daughter's foot? <BR>sigh.<BR>it is good to be away from H---he's singing the "let's get back together, i miss you" song, and i just keep reminding myself i'm #2 on his speed dial, and he talks to OW more than he talks to me, with more i love you's and emails than i EVER got. i guess i should do a full plan B while im gone, but i really think it's time for the big D, so im talking to him all he wants, and calling at least once a day with a kid report if i don't hear from him.<BR>thanks for letting me vent. hope you hear something soon

Yep, I should have known...I went out for cigs and a coke and they called. daughter left a message that they are at a Holiday Inn Express in London Kentucky. They will beleaving in morning for Tennessee.<P>I called them back.<P>Our 10 year old answered the phone and started crying. They both are so sad. I tried to cheer them up....said only good things and good thoughts. I am proud....because I would have loved to say more.<P>Talked to both of them. Dad just sat in the background and told them stuff. I guess they are going to go to Dolly Land.....I hope he throws up on the rides. LOL He hates amusement parks and he would never go when I took the girls.<P>Said they will be home on Thursday. So...alot of driving for only 1 1/2 days of fun.<P>They still don't really know where they are going to stay. Stbx made reservations for a hotel in Tennessee but would not disclose the exact one.<P>They both were saying good bye.... I miss you....I love you and in the background I heard stbx say....You guys make me sick. Nice Huh?<P><BR>Nancy

Nancy: Your spouses remarks to your daughters are evil and nasty. I am so sorry he's doing this to the girls and to you. <P>I just got back and checked your thread and you ssaid they'll be back in a day and a half? Home with you? If so, what a relief.<P>He does sound bipolar.<P>You and your girls are in my prayers.<P>Catnip =^^=

M, I feel so bad for you and your girls. It's bad enough what he's putting you through, but he could at least show your girls some civility. <P>This will all be behind you soon. Things will work out for the best. Your girls will be home soon, and I'll bet they'll never be more glad to see you! What goes around comes around. You're going to stay calm, cool and collected while your H is frittering away chance after chance to do the right thing. <P>

Just remember, your ten year old can call you if they are not home in the next few days. He is a royal class *&$%#@* hole.<P>Callie<P>

Nancy,<P>Just record everything... please.<P>You take care of yourself during his craziness.<P>You know I'm praying for you... and your kids... <P>Jim

Nancy,<P>Crazy thought here. Can you move to one of those counties were the protection is better? <BR>Here in Oh, you have to be a resident for 6 months before you can file in the county where you are living. My x and her lawyer wanted to file in the next county which is quite rural so that nobody here would know her business. She was afraid to move there though because there was no place decent to live.<P>Hang in there. It doesn't sound like your stbx will enjoy all this time with his kids and maybe this will change his mind about seeking custody.<P>God Bless,<P>Bob

Your H has got to be one of the most aggrivating men I have ever had to hear about. <P>I am praying for the safe return of your children.... and hoping that he at least lets them enjoy their time at the park.... <P>Good luck to you...

There must be something about this in federal law. I'll see what I can find.<P>This guy is such an idiot. We often see our WS making sins of omission, but this guy is the king of sins of commission.<P>Hang in there. I know this is stressful for you now, but it is very very good for your custody fight.

First off, I've gotten to the point where I don't read your posts very often. That is because your ex is doing a lot of the same things that my ex did during our seperation and early into our divorce. Your pain reminds me of my pain and when I read your posts I feel my heart breaking all over again. My ex was suppose to have the kids for a weekend. Come Sunday night and no ex, no kids. He also changed his phone number to an unlisted one so I couldn't call the kids. The kids were NOT allowed to call me when they were with him. 2 weeks they were gone! He took them way up north to a camping ground. TWO weeks I went with no idea where they were or if they'd ever come back. I too called my attorney. You know what he said? You can't say it's kidnapping and you can't report them missing. They are not "missing", you know where they are....they are with their father. I explained that they were suppose to be back by Sunday. He said a judge would see it as a father wanting to spend more time with his kids since it was summer vacation and me as trying to keep them from him. For those two weeks my body gave out and I couldn't work. Never have I felt such fear and pain. So, I know how you feel and like I said, your posts cause me too much pain to read most of the time. But, I did want to tell you that the only reason he's doing it is to hurt you. He'll bring them back and at least he's letting them call you. Some comfort because you know they are ok. Although if they are hurting and sad please TRY to sound upbeat. If they hear your pain, they'll feel it. For your babies sake, make it sound like your "ok" with it. Don't let him win this won. He is comfortable causing the children pain because he know's that's the way he can hurt you most. I know, been there before. I don't know what else to tell you except that I know your pain and I'm sorry your living it.

Nancy.........<P>Just wanted to say that my prayers are w/you.<P>It will be ok,God is on your side.<P>So are we!<P>Take a deep breath and Hang in there!<P>{{{{{{{{{Nancy}}}}}}}}here is a cyber hug. <P>Gina

have you heard from them again? yeah i'll bet your stbx is out to hurt you. i feel so bad for your girls!<BR>turns out something went wrong with my "case" and the DA in CA wants to re-arrest me next week!!!! shouldn't have left the state or something awful. i put in a call to my lawyer to get this nightmare fixed, but i have been really mad at my H...the stress of all this crap is really getting to me, and naturally HE is the cause of it all (well? he is!!)<BR>im saying a prayer for your girls and you,<BR>julie

I totally agree with BonnieSept, your husband is trying to hurt you and he knows the only way is to use the kids. BEEN THEIR DONE THAT! Do not let the kids hear how emotional you are because it will effect them. Be cheery, cheery, cheery and let them know that you hope they are having fun and that you can't wait to see them when they get home, but no depressing stuff. RISE ABOVE IT, and don't let him use this one to finally break you down. He is pulling out all the stops but show him how much above him you really are. Keep your chin up! <BR>PS I also, laughed like your lawyer did when I read this, because he is causing MORE damage to himself and he is too stupid to realize it. KARMA BABY, KARMA!