I screwed up our family finances and don't know how to fix it. Can you pray for me?<P>I know that this is off-topic, but it scares me. I did confront my H and told him but I feel horrible because of my mistakes. I'm worried that he'll think less of me and that it will hurt our marriage.<P>We are already recovering pretty well from his affair and now this....<P>I need prayers. Anyone who reads this, can you include me in your prayers? Thanks...<BR><p>[This message has been edited by NoTrust (edited June 12, 2000).]

I put you on my list for tonight. Sheesh . . gonna need a bigger pad of paper these days. <P>If you told him, how did he react? This may be an opportunity for the two of you to work through this together. If done right, it could draw you closer together.

Gonnatry,<P>Thanks for putting me on your prayer list. I really appreciate it and I need a lot of prayer.<P>This evening, my H stopped by for a dinner break (he is working this evening) and I did tell him. I didn't say anything at first, but he could already tell (because he knows me so well), that I was distracted and had to tell him something.<P>So, I finally did tell him. He was calm and said that he will call the mortgage company to see if they will work with us (we are 1 month behind). He has to call since he is the one on the account and they won't talk to me.<P>He took the phone # and will call them from work. Since he doesn't come home until almost midnight, I don't know if he got a hold of them and worked something out.<P>I'm so stressed out from it (but it is well deserved). I just hope that he doesn't think less of me because I messed up. I hope it doesn't mar the recovery that we are making in our marriage.

No Trust,<P>Honey, everybody screws up once in a while. I know how scary it is. But hang in there, I doubt h will not be able to forgive you. <P>I'll be praying, it'll be ok, wait and see. God will make a way for you. <P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>Hepatitis C, educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://hepatitis-central.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://hepatitis-central.com/</A>

You're in my prayers....s

Hi Deb,<P>You are always here when I need you and I can always count on you for a prayer. Thanks a lot. It brought tears to my eyes.<P>I'm so afraid that the mortgage company won't work with us. I'm afraid of what my H is thinking about me. Although I shouldn't be afraid to be honest with him, it really scares me.<P>Scoick, thanks for your prayers too. I really appreciate your support. I just hope that this mess can be fixed and dealt with.<P>

Hey, I agree with Deb. We're all only human. As our spouses have made mistakes and we have forgiven them, so too our spouses forgive us for our mistakes. You've been in bigger messes than this and have come through shining! This will be no different.<P>

Stuff happens, no matter how hard we try.<P>You're in our prayers, Honey.<P>Lori

Gonnatry & Lostva,<P>You are so right! I have been in larger messes than this and have come through. Well, that is, with God's help. I pray, but I keep thinking that I am over-exhausting my prayer requests from God. He has always been here for me but I feel that he has helped me so much that I don't deserve to be helped anymore. I feel that others are in more need than I am and that I shouldn't even be asking for help. Does this make any sense?<P>Thank you! Thank you, for including me in your prayers. Your support is truly appreciated and I am grateful for my friends on this forum.<P>

No Trust,<P>honey, you are a mom, is there a limit wwith how much your kids deserve anything you can give them that they need and you can give ? No. Do you give them everything they want, ? No, that would be bad for them, because they don't always want what is good for them.<P>As long as what they need isn't harmful you will give them whatever it is in your power to give.<P>God is like that with you, and with all of us, if it isn't bad for us, he will give us what we need. Not always what we want , but what we need.

Deb,<P>You are so sweet. Thank you for your wise words and encouragement. For now, I feel a little better. I feel as if my heart feels a little lighter, as if some of the burden has been lifted.<P>I think that I am going to change my forum name. I don't think that it fits anymore because I really am starting to trust again. I just have to think of a name that suits me.<P>Thank you, my friend.

NoTrust,<P>Changing your forum name is an EXCELLENT idea. I used a negative name when I first appeared in another forum site. When I expressed my desire to work things out, someone posted that I should change my name as my current one may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. So I picked my current one as a symbol of my determination. Looking forward to the day I change it to WeDidIt!

My finances are screwed up, too. I'll pray for BOTH of us.<P>Catnip =^^=

Gonnatry, I'm still thinking of that new name. I'm leaning more towards "A_Survivor" but am wondering if anyone has used it yet. I'll have to check and see.<P>Catnip, I'm so very sorry that you are having financial problems also. Stress and more stress...when does it ever end? When I think that things are getting better, something else happens. Life is never boring, that's for sure! Thank you for praying for me. I'll pray for you too.

No Trust,<P>You're in my prayers, I know it's going to work out and be alright. Like everyone here has sd, we all make mistakes. Your H will not think less of you, he loves you. You wouldn't think less of him for the same thing now would you? See .. so It's going to be alright.<P><P>------------------<BR>Jo<P>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak that will snap in the wind"

No Trust! Resilient! You Night Owls!<P>You know, the financial problems that occur are due(in part)to all the mayhem we have gone through. These problems can be remedied. <BR>There are legions of consumer credit organizations and many ways to budget. <BR>I can't believe that these difficulties are the result of something you did entirely on your own, No Trust. <BR>Unless you've been gambling or taking cruises to assuage your unhappiness at the current state of your marriage, I am assuming that you were just trying to survive and maybe made some bad choices while under pressure. Perhaps your spouse contributed to the problem, too. Maybe some of the responsibility should be shared.<P>Please don't get upset with yourself or be afraid of your husband's reaction; try to get proactive about fixing the damage first before you panic. <P>I am seeing an attorney to try to determine which route would be the best way to go to begin reparation of our current dilemma. I suppose I should be panicking right now, and things will probably get much worse for me before it gets better, however, I can't make myself nuts over this. I will pray for you and hope God will give you answers and guide you to the best source to help you.<P>Resilient: <P>I didn't see any postings from you on your counselling/mediation appointment from this morning. I checked all the links and no thread from you!<BR>What happened? How did it go?<P>Catnip =^^=<P><BR>Hey, I'm toast. I'm signing off for tonight.<P>

Resilient & Catnip,<P>Thanks for your support and wise encouraging words! No, I don't gamble or go on cruises...LOL! It sure would be nice to afford to do that, though!<P>My H is calling the mortgage company tomorrow. I hope that they will be understanding and work with us. My H is being very nice about everything. (I still think that it is my mistake since I take care of all of our finances.)<P>It really makes me feel better when I read these words of encouragement. I hope that there is a rainbow at the end of this black cloud! Thanks again!

Hey Survivor!<P>Hang in there! You're in my prayers too. Don't worry, everything will work out. Your H sounds like he is being very supportive and understanding. That's exactly what is needed!<P>Just was checking too, to see how you are today? Have you calmed down any? I handle all of our finances too. It can get overwhelming at times. I've made mistakes here and there too.<P>We're all only human, right?<P>I'll be thinking of you!<P>--purplemag

Hi, not sure who to address, Notrust or Survivor,<P>Anyway, I've screwed up too. I was great for years, always took care of everything, but it just got away from me. I suspect I have affected our credit rating but I hope not too seriously.<P>The other point is the mortgage company will almost surely work with you, one month behind is nothing. They would much rather work with you for a bit than go through the trouble and expense of a foreclosure. If they don't take this approach get yourself off to a lawyer immediately. Just about any real estate agent (use the one you bought the house through) can give you advice on the legal situation, usually for free, but a letter from a lawyer will give a over-zealous mortgage company pause.<P>Don't worry too much, take care.