My husband of 15 years has been having an affair for some time. He has said he would end it for months. Finally he did and things were okay for about 2 weeks. Then suddenly he said he was leaving because that is what I have always wanted. Yes, I have said that but only to get him to end the affair. I believe he tried to get back with his lover but she refused. He has hurt her too much as well. He as moved into a hotel and I am very concerned for him. I can't believe we made it this far and now he wants to quit. Does anyone have a suggestion as to how I can help him through this difficult time so that we can start to work on our marriage. We have 3 children and he says he still loves me.

{{{stridcakes}}}:<P>I am so sorry that you are in this position, but you have come to the right place.<P>My suggestion is that you read what Dr. Harley has written on this site about Plan A. That's the first thing he suggests betrayed spouses try when they find out about an infidelity. The search function doesn't seem to be working, but I suggest you start here: <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html</A> <P>Your husband is hurt and confused. He has been living in a fantasy world and it seems to have come to an end. He is lucky to have such a caring and strong wife. I suggest you reach out to him and let him know that you really do care, but try hard not to push too much. He is probably embarrassed and may want to stay away from you if he is a conflict avoider. You can't force him to talk to you, but let him know you are there. Avoid "lovebusters" which are those hurtful things we betrayed spouses may want to say but which will end up hurting more than helping. (For more on lovebusters try <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html</A> )<P>You and your husband can make it through these times, stridcakes. Good luck and best wishes to you. Let us know how you are doing. --HBC