When reading your long posts, I really fell as if I'm there. That's a real talent you have. I think I often sound dry and distant, not sure why 'cause I don't feel that way.<P>Haven't had an update in awhile. How are things with Robert? Did he really come back and start meeting your needs from Day 1? <P>We've come through another rough spot, but I truly see the light at the end. And it's brighter than I ever dreamed...<P>I thought there were many things I would just have to live with. For years I have wanted him to switch careers, almost made that a condition of rebuilding. Why? The horrendous travel, stress, but more. To do his best, and that's how he is, is almost directly antithetical to what we are trying to build.<P>The whole Company are guys who live on airplanes, wine and dine everywhere (the top guys are all single), bend over backwards to make a sale then have to work the other side made up of techies who don't or can't deliver...<P>I have learned as you have to take responsibility for my side. I didn't have to build a wall of resentment and grow apart as I tried to raise our kids alone. But I did, and it was no way to live...<P>But all that said, I thought this was one thing I would just have to live with. I have totally stopped putting any pressure on him to switch careers. Then, last night, he floored me when he shared his thoughts about how we make choices and take our lives where we want them to go. That life is too precious to throw away like this. That he wants us to do something together.<P>He would lose all those things I mentioned, plus financial security, but he really wants it!!!<P>I'm a little scared, but it is truly unbelievable!!!<P>BTW, Lostva, you have mail.<P>------------------<BR>Cindy

Hi, Cindy! You have mail, too! <P>It's always good to hear from you...you guys are progressing so well.<P>No, things were not great when Robert first came home. He wanted to move back out on Day 3!!!! PT launched a full-scale assault and played on his guilt and vulnerabilities at his very weakest moment. He TESTED me and some days it took everything I had not to throw in the towel. I learned my lessons here, though. I didn't push anything, I didn't react to anything and just kept on as I did while he was gone....loving and believing in him. I couldn't even THINK about asking for EN questionaires or Rules for Recovery or anything like that - would've scared him to death and, I believe, pushed him right out the door!! The first couple of weeks were AWFUL and then, slowly, bit by bit, I started seeing some improvement. Then, all of a sudden, the wall just crumbled! I could almost FEEL it when it happened!!! (OK, DeWayne, you know me and my intuition!!) We went from no steps to baby steps very slowly and then things started improving by leaps and bounds! I'm so very proud of my husband...he's worked so hard and done a lot of tough things - without my asking. Looks like you've found out the same thing, you get some amazing results, sometimes faster, when you don't INSIST on them!!<P>I think it's great that he's putting you guys as such a priority that he's thinking of switching jobs. What a testament to you and your love, Cindy!!! Can you BELIEVE that??<P>It's ok to be nervous about it, but if he wants it, then, Honey, support it and give it all you've got. He must believe that it will strengthen you even further or he'd never consider such a step. What a wonderful gift!!!<P>Oh, well, I should get off this computer now. Got a surprise b-day party for Kristin and about 30 of her most intimate friends ( ) this afternoon and a pig-pickin for about 30 of Robert's family tomorrow!! My house is a wreck, groceries haven't been bought and the grass is not yet cut! Think we'll make it???? Well, it's happening, ready or not, so I guess I'd best try to get ready!! Wish me luck!<P>I'll talk to you soon.<P>Love and prayers,<P>Lori

Well, the next day, he was happy as a clam at work again. (So I guess no moves for now).<P>These flip-flops used to destroy his credibility in my mind, but I'm realizing it's a lot like what I do emotionally. It's often all or nothing for me.<P>So he is still trying to find the best fit for career and family, and now thinks things will work out at the job after all.<P>Even as I posted my excitement in the above, I managed to maintain some reserve (new learned behavior), knowing how quickly he changes his mind. He's a great salesman, and had given me every reason in the book to walk out on the job for two hours. <P>Hope your parties went well. He's leaving tonight for the week so I'm already feeling lonely. I should focus on enjoying today with him instead. After church, we are going to my SIL's for a barbecue. <BR>

Learning to take that waffling in stride now, aren't you? LOL<P>You never know what tomorrow will bring. Parties went well, we're EXHAUSTED!! Gonna head to bed real soon, just trying to do a LITTLE bit of catch-up first!<P>Talk to you soon.<P>Lori

Well, at least handling it, and not letting myself get too excited about his grand schemes even when he sounds soooo convincing.<P>Best of all, I understand it comes from his really trying to find the best STRUCTURE for us based on the options available. I bounce similarly between extremes when it comes to emotional stuff.<P>I feel a bit lonely, though.

Excuse me girls...just wanted to butt in and say how GREAT it is to see you sounding so positive and doing such great team work with your spouses!!!!!!<BR>Congratulations!!!!

AWWWWW, Shucks, Wassi!!!<P>Thanks for the compliment! We're just muddling through like everyone else 'round here!!<P>Still looking for that juice stuff you were talking about on Tyra's (I think) thread!!! I figure, the bonfires worked so well for me, maybe I'll go your way with the juice too. Oh, and read my new thread. You're not gonna BELIEVE what I did now!<P>Hang in there, cindy!!<P>Luv ya,<P>Lori