How do you repair trust & faith in a marriage? My wife lost trust in me over the years.

The only way I know of is for you to establish a track record of being worthy of trust and faith, and demonstrating that to her--being an "open book". How long it takes depends on how damaged your wife's trust is, but it is safe to say it will probably take a lot longer than you wish.<P>Good luck--<P>Kathi

The only way to repair trust anf faith is by showing you can be trusted. Trust is easy to give, the first time, once it is broken it takes a lot of time and a lot of work to earn back.<P>What did you do to lose her trust and faith in you ? If we knew that, (it's not in your profile) it would be easier to give you advice.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>Hepatitis C, educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://hepatitis-central.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://hepatitis-central.com/</A>

<B>MHW</B>,<P><B>Kathi</B> and <B>Deb</B> hit it on the head!<P>But for additional discusssions see...<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/006615.html" TARGET=_blank>How to rebuild my spouse's trust?</A>…..redman…..8/23/1999<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum31/HTML/000274.html" TARGET=_blank>Things my husband did to rebuild trust</A>…..HGBrawner…..3/17/2000<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum31/HTML/000293.html" TARGET=_blank>Making New Memories</A>…..HGBrawner…..3/25/2000<P>...all from my <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000013.html" TARGET=_blank>Notable Posts/Threads</A> post. <P> <P>Jim

Thanks Kathi, Deb, & Jim.<P>Deb - My wife lose trust in me over the years. I am now trying to build a new track record. I went out all the time. I never told her where I go. I got paged all the time. I come straight home to the kids now. I make myself accountable. Any more advise Deb?

Yes. always let her know where you are going and when you will return. Don't wait for her to ask. <P>Always , and I mean always, kiss her and tell her you love her while looking into her eyes before you go anywhere. This is a good idea for all of us. Nothing is certian in the world we live in. Always treat each time you leave her as if it may be the last time you will get to see her. My grandmother taught me that, it works well.<P>Find out what her most important emotional needs are, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4110_emndsq.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4110_emndsq.html</A> <P>print out a copy and ask her to fill it out. Explain that you want to be a better h and by knowing what she needs you will have a better chance.<P>Also, be sure you are attentive to her, when she says something to you don't just say ok, or yes dear and go about your merry way. Really listen to her and know that when she talks she may not want you to fix her problem she just needs you to really listen.<P>Also remember that what says I love you to you may not be what says it to her. To you coming straight home says I love you, to her it may only be a part of what says it to her, she may need that plus ???? <P>Always let her know you find her attractive, find something to complement her on everyday, her eyes, smile, choice of clothing, the way she cooks, something, anything. <P>I can tell you if my h did that I would be the happiest wife there is, even though he has cheated on me more than once.<P>And give her time, it's been almost two years since the last time my h broke my trust and my heart. I'm not over it yet, I'm afraid of him, not for my safty, but for my heart. The first time he did it it took me years and years to start trusting him 100 % again, This time I may never be able too. I want to, and I hope to, but for now I dare not. <P>Enough advice for now ? I do tend to go on and on about things I feel strongly about.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>Hepatitis C, educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://hepatitis-central.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://hepatitis-central.com/</A>