I just started Plan A, I can't stop LBing but much better than before.. at least I don't say mean things. My H keeps telling he still loves me blah blah, then I just found he went to see OW after him telling me he will be in town for a while. that crashed me.. I was so upset, because I thought we could get together and I will try Plan A as much as possible.. also, we have a hearing regarding our apartment, which next Monday and the day we first met 7 yrs ago, so there are 2 things important to me and I wanted to see him..<BR>Well, he e-mailed me on Thursday saying there's no bus, only the bus he can take, it arrives here Monday supper time. OK, from Thursday to Monday there's only one bus coming here??? GIVE ME A BREAK! He only wanted to leave like Monday morning, so he could spend time as much as possible with OW. For him it's not important our anniversary or either I lose a place to live or not... I'm too depressed and angry. He's supposed to call today since OW's going to a party so he can call me behind her back. BUT I'm thinking of not answering because what will change? He still won't be here on Monday and I'm too upset to talk, if I talk I'm totally going to blew everything!<BR>Yesterday I went to see a psychiatrist for evaluating what kind of med I should take. After the session he told me he didn't think I should take any med. I started to cry I was sure he would give me a prescription I wasn't sure how long I could take feeling like this(I've been feeling bad for 6 months since H told me about a separation, and got worse after discovering his A). So I told Dr. that I would just go to pharmacy and get ST. Johns then, then he said if I was gonna take that then he would give me a prescription. So I got Paxil, and yesterday I slept 14 hours. Right now a little bit of headache I can live with it.<BR>Thanks,<BR>MF<p>[This message has been edited by MF (edited June 17, 2000).]

MF,<P>I know the feeling. Just remember, if you didn't love him you wouldn't care what he did or said.<P>You need to find a way of letting the anger out. I've discovered keeping the lid on it on makes for a bigger explosion.<P>I suggest a trip to Wal-Mart or K-Mart, to the toy department for a blow-up clown punching bag, the kind they make for kids, those things are great, you can knock em around and yell at them all day long and it's not a LB to h because you don't do it around him, and they are cheap. Or you can make one of these<BR> <A HREF="http://www.huskins.com/strega/dammit.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.huskins.com/strega/dammit.html</A> <P>Take a walk and look at the sky, the trees and flowers, enjoy their beauty.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{MF}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>Hepatitis C, educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://hepatitis-central.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://hepatitis-central.com/</A>