dday for me was November when H told me about OW. It was both EA & PA over 2year period. Things have been very difficult since then with the usual back and forwrds to OW. We have been in recovery for about 2 months back.<P>My problem is this about 7 weeks ago I allowed myself to be kissed by a complete stranger on a training course and kissed back. I must admit I had a little too much alcohol at that time. Nothing went further than that but this is what upset me<P>1. I have never kissed or desired anyone in the 10 years I have been with H.<P>2. I was feeling so low, self esteem gone H had been telling me he did not desire me sexually. <P>3. I felt very afraid that I had become so vulnerable.<P>4. Realised that I never want this to happen to me again or put myself in a position where I am vulnerable<P>5. Glad nothing more happened, no feelings for this OP at all.<P>6. Feel very guilty that I have broken my trust with H and have lost some of my self respect.<P>Our relationship has been improving and H is doing alot to bring us closer together. However I confessed to him this morning about it as I have always been honest and did'nt want any lies. He was'nt angry at all but I know he still regards a kiss as the same breach of trust. I know it seems such a small thing but I feel dreadful and wonder what he will think of me now? Will it make him feel all smug and consider me as bad as he was?<P>I just feel so sad and disappointed in myself<P>I know that I never want it to happen again as I love my H very much and would not go through this pain if I did'nt.<P>Any thoughts on this. I feel absolutely worthless.<P>

The most important thing is that you told your H what happened. I know you feel guilty and awful about what happened, but don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sorry I know it's considered adultery, but you cannot compare a kiss to a 2 yr. long affair. I'm not saying it was okay for you to do that, but under the circumstances, I see how possible it was for it to happen. Especially since your recovery had just started. It sounds like this was something you honestly did not mean to happen. You just let yourself go at the moment, unintentionally. Thank goodness nothing else happened or it would have been even harder on you. Use this as a learning experience. Maybe it can help your H realize you're only human, too. <P>I don't want you to think that I think it's okay for spouses to cheat on each other, because I don't. My H and I have both hurt each other very badly in the past, but now our marriage is stronger than it's ever been. So, good can come from mistakes. <P>Just stay strong, and don't let anything like this happen again. I can tell you truly love your H and feel remorse for what you've done. Today's a new day! Keep your chin up!

kayto,<BR>You're a strong person. You told your H what happened, and you're making promise to yourself that it's not going to happen again.<P>My H did NOT promise me another A or flirting will never happen. He has not made that decision yet. That's what hurts me. Everybody is vulnerable, but a diecision makes a difference.<P>I have to confess, that I had a stupid dream a couple nights ago. A young handsome pop singer (oh god I'm brushing) liked me, and wanted to sleep with me. It's laughable but I'm not far away from what happened to you. Just a matter of a chance, I'm insecure and want attention from somebody. And I'm not going to tell him. We're not in recovery yet, and he's not open to me. If I tell this to him, it'll just make me look stupid. We lost a lot of trust for each other and had not started to rebuild it.<P>You're definitely in a better situation than I am now. Keep looking forward, I hope I can be as strong as you are, pretty soon. <P>a

congratulations on being so honest. If we want honesty from our spouses we ourselves must be perfectly honest. Im sure your husband will in his heart admire your honesty and desparately wish he had been so honest, it could have saved you so much pain. If only...........