Okay, now I need to vent. I probably should have done this before I spoke to my H tonight. So I thought everything was going along so well. Everything has been pointing to a positive outcome. Everything but the fact that my H still lives with the OW. So tonight he was supposed to pick up some stuff for our D and her chicken pox. I called him at 9pm I found out he had completely forgotten about it. He was back at the OW's place and had already fallen asleep. I wasn't so much mad as I was just so disappointed. I guess it must be easy to be a PT dad. He can just come and go out of our D's life as he wishes. He doesn't have to deal with the daily stuff. He gets her and they have fun. Then he gets upset when she whines. Well, what the HE!! does he expect? She's used to mom being there for her. Mom is the one that comforts her when she's sick or feeling sad. Mom is the first person she sees in the morning and the one to put her to bed at night. Dad isn't there for her anymore and she knows it. Not because of anything I have said - no, I have been the one to stand up for her dad and try to comfort her when he lets her down. She knows he has let her down just because he's not here anymore. AAARRRGGGHHH! I am so flipping MAD RIGHT NOW!!!!<P>So I talked to him and made the mistake of letting him know how I didn't understand why he wasn't at home by now. Yep, I LB'd there. And sure enough I caught a glimpse of the a$$***e my H had been way back when. Oh, how much I cannot stand that person!! He said sure he could come home now because he's sick (he has had broncitis/pneumonia for a few weeks) but that's all it would be for and that just wouldn't be fair to me. Oh, and like this is?! What a bunch of CR**!! <P>Okay, I jumped the gun. I just took a couple of steps back and it frustrates the heck out of me. I called him back and apologized. Said he didn't need to hear that. Told him I was just frustrated because the two people that mean the most to me are sick. So he said that was okay. He was sounding all sweet and stuff. I probably just sent him running into the her arms. <P>I feel a little better. I just need to start taking care of me again. I think I'm going to go have a talk with our pastor this week. <P>Oh, well. Thanks for listening!<P>------------------<BR>Molli<P>Find your strength within!

Molli, It is really hard to give give give all the time and get so little... I know how much it hurts. You really have to wonder about these Betrayers. Don't they think this whole thing is alittle weird??<P>Sometimes I sit back and think if someone told me these things happened I wouldn't believe it. Except we're living it.<P>THe weird thing is my h was going through a D when I met him. Apparently he and his first W married young, didn't get along very well and she didn't want kids. There were no OP in either case. Well guess what!! They still even tried marraige counseling and they didn't have kids!!!!<P>Now, here we are married 11 years, know each other 13...have 3 kids...he tells me every day for those 13 years he loves me....hugs me the day he leaves for his trip with OP... says he';ll miss me and the kids.,,,comes home possessed and tells me there is nothing we can do and the kids will be fine...Also that he's changed...into what he cannot say, just a man who's lost his conscience!!!<P>It truly looks like an illness when I portray it this way!!!!!

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