SHA,<BR>I saw your post to Sheba and wondered how things are with you?<P>Bob

Hey Bob, <P>Thanks for asking! <P>I thought about writing a "success" story, but I changed my mind because I'm just not there yet. <P>The last six months have been tough. Withdrawal is much more difficult than I anticipated. I know she misses the om. It's tough to even admit that. I know she misses the bond that she thought was there between them. I still wonder if she talks to or sees him occasionally behind my back. I hope she isn't. I trying to trust again. <P>In regards to our marriage, I think we are doing better. She responds more than she has in the past. I continue to be the greatest husband on the planet or at least the best husband I know how to be. She has some horrible mood swings that I'm still trying to get used to. Some days I feel loved, some days I feel settled for, and some days she makes me feel like the stuff you scrape off the bottom of your shoe. The good news is that I am learning to recognize those days and deal with them appropriately.<P>I wish we could talk more openly about the events that have transpired. She doesn't like talking about it all. She holds it all in. I think she is trying to reconcile the events in her own way and in her own time. It would be nice to have complete honesty and openness, but I believe that is an elusive brass ring that few ever posess.<P>I think she loves me with all she can. I'm not sure she'll ever love me like I want her to. That's something I need to work through. We dream about our future together. We date, we talk a lot, we laugh, we cry, we're good friends. I don't know. I think we are getting there; it's just going to take a very long time to heal. <P>As for me, I'm a better man than perhaps anytime in life. I feel emotionally stronger for having walked through this mess. On the other hand, I will not go through it again. If my wife told me she wanted out of our marriage, I would let her go. I know in my heart that I have done all I can - no regrets. I love her and want the best for her. I think doing your best gives you a strength to make tough decisions. <P>So, I suppose I would sum all this up by saying we are healing ever so slowly. <P>How are you doing Bob? you caught me during a lurking mode. Sometimes I'm a way from here for weeks. <P>I hope you are doing well my friend. <P>Take care, <P>SHA<P>------------------<BR>There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

SHA,<P>We would like you to come around more. It still does me a lot of good, and I think I'm helping others too.<P>I think you are doing the right things, having fun, etc. My h cried on my shoulder a couple of nights most of the night, but mostly held it inside too.<P>But we kept doing the "fun" things together, and he is slowly coming around. Maybe it helps that I can read him so well. I would lightly ask what he was thinking and he would tell me, and I didn't react negatively.<P>You can find that openness, I'm just getting glimpses of it, and it's wonderful!<P>Anyway, take care, and don't be such a stranger!<P>------------------<BR>Cindy

SHA,<BR>I am doing really well. I am making friends and doing things.<P>I still have some bitterness and anger but get over them pretty quick. I am slowly learning not to react to things she does that I think is stupid, like takes the kids but goes to work. Afterall I do that. <P>I've recently met a woman and she is the exact opposite of my x, so that is very intriguing so far. She is also pursuing(?) me as she has called me a couple time, including today. She is also very aware of concerns about me dating and how the kids will react so I appreciate that.<P>I hope everything continues to improve in your marriage. Are you guys counseling ? Is your w finished with school? I was thinking she only had 1 year to go.<P>I can understand about the trust issues. I saw my x's car in front of my bank and I was sure she was trying to get to our d's money that she is guardian of. When I stopped to think about it, the money is invested and it isn't even at the bank. But still I was sure at first that's what she was doing.<P>Best of Luck and God Bless,<P>Bob