Just got off phone w/ W...with me being the WS...she says that I am not welcome to return to house until she trusts me. It has been since May 10 since contact with OW. Spending time with family and friends...fighting the urge to contact OW...but that is so hard to do when W seems so non-committal about what she wants. She (W) has been gone with kids for the past 2 weeks and no contact with OW...actually as mentioned before no contact w/ OW since May 10. Had a GREAT night with an old buddy this past Friday night and really needed that...he is my best friend, talked about everything...I just REALLY miss my W...She (W) is who I want to be with, but What must I do to build the trust...? Feel as if I am doing all the right things, but her (W's) response is cold...

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you.I'm usually not around too much on the weekends.<P>Todd, you have to slow down and take a deep breath. This is for the long haul and recovery is something that cannot be rushed. You can't rush someone else to heal this kind of pain. First you have to accept responsibility for that and recognize that you have a big opportunity here to make your marriage better than it was before.But, for now, you have to put yourself on the back burner for awhile.<P>You are doing a good thing getting support from your family and friends. It helps to have someone who will keep you accountable.If you are accountable for nothing else, the thing that will make the most difference to your wife, is that you do not contact OW.You must not fail on that account.You cannot expect W to allow herself to be hurt over and over again.<P>Get the book SAA NOW! Follow the rules for making a successful marriage. You must be no less than an open book. Your wife has the right to disect every second of your time and whereabouts.You need to let her do that with a smile on your face.You need to show her you know how and why this occured so she can be certain it will not happen again.Counseling might be a good way to figure it all out and reassure her of your good intentions.There is much work to be done.Do not wait for her,get busy working on the repair by yourself. When she sees your efforts are sincere and feels comfortable, she'll feel better about letting you move back home. Don't rush her,just do your part and follow the MB plan for fixing things.Prayers and good luck to you.