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Tell OP's Spouse ?
#386746 06/26/00 10:26 AM
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Mike C2
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Mike C2
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<BR>I'm curious as to what the Harley's advice would be in the case of, say, Homer here recently, but a common dilemma. <P>Hiw W is in an A, and the OM's W doesn't know. I know if I were Homer my instincts would be to tell the OM's H immediately and hope that she reined her H in and kept him away from my W. I suppose that she might also bounce him out of the house and that could facilitate two divorces.<P>Sure it would be a major LB, but I think the fact that the motive is to keep your marriage together and that you are fighting for it would come clear after awhile.<P>What is the textbook Harley advice here?
Re: Tell OP's Spouse ?
#386747 06/26/00 10:54 AM
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NSR Offline
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Textbook Harley is to...<P>...stop and evaluate...<BR>...if it is a love buster... <B>Don't do it</B>!<P>Who defines the LB... (it's the WS!)<P>Would this be a LB to the WS... usually... 99% of the time!<P>If there is anyway the OM's W can find out <B>truly annonymously</B>! With <B>zero</B> "connection" to the Faithful spouse(FS)...<BR>...it might be OK...<BR>...but as you've said... if there is a chance that the OM's W throws out the OM... you're a step or 2 back!<P>The focus is again on the Faithful Spouse(FS) becoming the better person!...<BR>...can't go wrong with that!<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>Jim
Re: Tell OP's Spouse ?
#386748 06/26/00 11:17 AM
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by NSR:<BR><B>Textbook Harley is to......if it is a love buster... [b]Don't do it</B>!<P>Again, this isn't in my personal experience, but I guess that if my W discovered an affair by me, part of me would HOPE that she would go totally nuts, not just sort of accept the situation and let it go on.<P>In a situation like Homer's, the OM is sitting in the catbird seat, waiting to pick his future mate, without any guilt or pressure on the homefront. And his W is not even putting forward the best case, since she isn't aware.<P>Anyway, it is just such a common theme here, I was curious as to what the Harley's would say. <P>Thanks, Jim. Have a great trip! <P>

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