H begged me to come to his friend's for dinner the other night. he's known OW for longer than H. his wife knew about the affair, so i was telling her all about the past year and related developments. <BR>she said OW was REALLY skanky...dated a drug dealer and probably takes lots of speed. there was a video made at work, and H was not present, and apparently OW was doing some kind of hooker/stripper routine, drunk, and put her crotch in the camera, and said, "this is for you , H". blech!!! <BR>my friend said my H must be so naive. and yeah, for all his talk, he kind of is. <BR>anyway, i asked him later if he had ever seen "that video", and he SEEMED to not know what i was talking about, and asked me one or 2 questions, so i doubt he has seen it.<BR>also, the other night, i told H not to come home, and he went to that friend's house, and she said he seemed really sad that i was threatening to leave him, and said he would always "take care of" me, no matter what.<BR>well, hearing about this from another perspective was really helpful for me, and deepened my love for my poor misled H (he had a girlfriend before he married me that was just like OW. i seriously think he thinks im too good for him, and knows i never had an affair with his "friend").<BR>anyway, things have been REALLY GOOD since yesterday, and i am losing the desire to lovebust...FINALLY.<BR>I still dont have any answers to my emailed questions to him, but i am losing the desire to know the answers.<BR>is this what trust feels like?<BR>is this what a good marriage is?<BR>oooooh, if he hurts me again.....i'll...well, i'll....it's unthinkable.. <BR>fingers crossed this roller coaster keeps having more highs than lows..<P>tnt- thanks for responding to my last post, i hope you are doing ok.<P>------------------<BR> <A HREF="http://www.alladvantage.com<BR>ID#" TARGET=_blank>www.alladvantage.com<BR>ID#</A> atp-113<P>

YES!!!!!!!!!!!<P>you want another ugly story about the OW? hand her a mirror.....tell her to look in it.LOLOLOLOL..<P>I'm eally happy for you ..... I know its wierd, but hearing negative things about them just makes us feel a little better....<P>good for you....and good that this is making him sad.....<P>Dylan

Only believe half of what you see and none of what you hear. The only way to judge your H or this "video friendly" woman are based on actions they consistently take over time. People do and say weird things under times of duress, but that isn't a good indication of what is really going on. I wouldn't get too hopeful based on a few "encouraging" blunders by the OW while she is drunk.<P>On the other hand, maybe she's a freak, in which case it can't last forever. She sounds like a freak. Still you have to see it to half way believe it, and see it twice to believe it for sure.<BR>

thanks, soulloss. really, i SHOULD send her a mirror. ha.<BR>nonplused, actually, it really is over with H and OW, this is sort of ex post facto news. he once said that he was 'embarrassed' to be with her (after she had another affair with another married guy they worked with). also, he is home now, and as good a husband as anyone could want, so, yeah, the actions are getting believable.<BR>phew, finally...

That's good news. I spend a fair amount of time here and I don't see a whole awful lot of it. But it is uplifting to hear of the odd couple that are working it out, and the odd person who makes a big mistake but is man (or woman) enough to grow up and learn something from it.

yeah, nonplused, it often does seem like a winless battle, here. i was on the verge of giving up for a LONG time, myself. thank god things can change....