My H's friend was home an hour ago who was supposed to be with my H tonight. My H is not home yet. H confessed me that he loves OW last Fri, even though I think it's just a cloud over his head, he seems distant from me since. He hadn't called me tonight which was unusual. There is something wrong tonight. I feel something coming. When he comes home, what do I do?<P>After he told me he doesn't love me and he NEVER loved me like he does for the OW, I lost whole reason to try.<BR>I have 2 kids. Do I still have a reason? <BR>Maybe he'll come home. I just can't sitting here do nothing tonight. How long will I last...? please pray for me. I try to stay strong.

Alien, I'm sorry I have no advice for you. I will keep you and your H in my prayers tonight. That's the best I can do right now.<P>Hang in there. I know how tough it is. I guess I just know a little bit how you feel when you H is late. I hope he is not with the OW. Maybe he is just thinking about things. I will pray for you.<p>[This message has been edited by Lapeine (edited June 28, 2000).]

Alien, You'll be in my thoughts and prayers tonight. It is such a hard time. He is in a fog...I'll never understand how our spouses can become other people. <P>You have to try to take care of yourself and your children. This is hard when you are so devastated I know. I have three kids. My h was a devoted father. He is very disconnected from our kids right now and very distant to me. <P>If you can, detach and do a great plan A when you see him......read a lot here. Remember that these things have a life span...they are based on fantasy......He is trying to fill a need. See if you can find out what that is and start meeting it. <P>Remember we are all feeling your pain with you!!!!!

Lapeine & tootrusting,<BR>Thanks, it helped me out of a couple hours of panic attack.<P>He's back and said went back to the same bar after he picked up his truck. The friend said dropped him off before 8, but my H said it was 9, then thought about it and corrected it to 8:30. He must had at least 2 hours alone. Everything was within 20 min drive, he could have done anything, could call, see her or had her come down somewhere, but no proof. Very tricky situation, isn't it? Can't tell if he's lying or not... Tried not to ask toooooo many Qs. Something doesn't seem right. I'll find out more tomorrow from the friend.<P>I guess plan A continues no matter what he does, I really shouldn't care. But we're supposed to work on MB rules, how do I do that when I don't know if he's still has contacts w/her or not?<P>I hate to live like this. I might have to plan separation, really makes me wonder if my marriage was totally wrong on a night like this.<P>But, you guys always give me a hope. So good to know somebody cares about me. I try not to bust, for my kids, myself, and all of you here trying...

So sorry for your painful night, A, it is the wondering and not knowing and lack of trust that is such H...!!! In reading a lot of these posts, one thing I keep reading that gives me hope, is that my H is still here - and, so is yours. If they really wanted to leave, wouldn't they be gone??? Read the post about Dr. Dobson's article - it does seem a little harsher than MB, but gives some good insight. I even sent my H an email right after discovery, that if he really loved OW - if she is his passion for living(as I read in one of his emails to her - let me tell you, those words in that letter continue to haunt me - wish I had never seen it) that he should be with her - that I love him enough to let him go and for him to be happy - he didn't take me up on it, so maybe there hope... At least they are still with us - yet, the lack of trust is tortuous right now, isn't it? Sometimes I wish I could press the fast forward button and everything would be better...<BR>God bless - keeping you in my prayers, A