my husband cheated on me with his kid's mother last december. after i found out about it i took him back. 2 weeks later he left me 4 her. 3 weeks later he realized he made a mistake, i took him back. we did not do counseling. we still had problems. we lost our apartment because when he left i could not afford it on my own. we have been staying at his mother's apartment. his mother is good friends with the kid's mother. so therefore she is over there frequently.i don't bring up the situation that often, but i think about it everyday since it has happened. i can't stand her, she has been a thorn in my side since i met him. last week she came to see the mother, i got an instand attitude with him, everything just blew up. i guess the main reason was the fact that everything happened around this time last year. we got into a major argument, i have been at my mother's since last week. my husband is tired of "hearing about it", i am damn sure tired of thinking about it!! i just can't stop thinking about.<BR>we were doing so nice until last december, he ruined so much. i lost about 20lbs, i couldn't sleep, couldn't do much of anything.<BR>we r not together as of now. i might be better off, but i love him..it hurts.

Hi,<P>Let me start by saying that I can really relate to what you said. There is'nt a hour that goes by that I don't think about what my W did, and the things she put me through.<P>But...<P>It does get better, the more time passes the less U think about what happened.<P>Your H may be having a hard time with what he did, and that may be why he is so reluctant to talk about it. My W acted much the same way, every time subject would come up she would get mad at me cause I wanted to talk about the things she did and why she did them. <P>That also gets better with time, we can sit and discuss the subject without getting into a fight. It's still hard, but it helps to make things better again.<P>Your bound to hear this many times, but go to the counseling, there are somethings that U just can't workout without a mediator. <P>I feel your pain, and wish U the best of luck

thanx, but my husband doesn't want 2 go to <BR>counseling. he says it is over because i keep bringing it up. i love him, but i really don't think i need to be with someone<BR>who screams "it is over" everytime i get upset or show my feelings. i just want to stop loving him. he is very immature and has never had a real relationship. i need to move on and get past it. it is just a little bit easier said than done.

can't4get -- You know, I think that you are bringing out guilt in him when you bring this up. That's why he says "it's over" when you do. He can't deal with it right now and he is hoping you won't remind him. A little denial, I guess.<P>When I discuss how I feel, W and her therapist decide that I am using emotional blackmail to intentionally make her feel guilty. So, I don't really say much anymore about how I feel. I guess it doesn't make a lot of difference anymore, anyway.

Can't4get,<P>Hi, I'm Unseen2's wife. Yes, every word he says is true. Your H has a lot to face up to, which is intimidating. In fact, I'll bet he feels like it's bigger than he is at this point. What he may not realize is that if he just opens up and talks to you about it, the two of you can move on. <P>Keep us posted, good luck to you!<P>Khyra