Hi sifted,<P>I do not come here much anymore. inamess is someone i have been talking to for sometime now. <P>I just wanted to tell you that what you said to inamess was beautiful. God has done a real work in your marriage.<P>If God hadn't directed my husband, we would not still be WE. If my husband had not been a faithful servant to God, we wouldn't be WE. God is an awesome God. I love the lord Jesus with all of my heart and praise Him for all He has done in mylife and heart. In our lives in our hearts..<P>Thank you for some christian insight..<P>God Bless YOU and your family..<P>mercy..

Hi Mercy,<P>Thank you for your nice words. I am thankful for all that God has done - and I have really just become aware of it in the past year. You know how it is - when you are growing (it is often so gradual!) you don't realize it, but when you look back you realize how far you have come.<P>The work in my marriage is really just beginning. God has worked in many other areas of my life, and now I really sense this is the area He is bringing before me/us now. In the past months I have tended to be rather resentful and asking "why did it take so long to work on these things...". But recently I'm thinking that God's timing is perfect and the other areas needed their work first. Maybe now I am finally at a place where I can look at things in my marriage. And just as importantly, my husband is finally at that place too. So now the work of "we" begins. To be honest I am kind of hesitant about it all (still in withdrawal, I guess, plus other reasons). It won't be easy, I'm sure, but I keep my eyes on the fruits...seen in some of the success stories here.<P>I don't know if you know my story, but I am the betrayer. So there is nothing to boast about where I'm concerned. But as Paul said, "if I boast, let me boast in the Lord". <P>Take care, Mercy, and may God continue to bless you and your family too.<P>------------------<BR>"Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers."<p>[This message has been edited by siftedlikewheat (edited June 28, 2000).]

hi again sifted.<P>I do not know your story personally, but I know the story PERSONALLY. I too am the betrayer. I just praise and thank God for all He has done and all He is going to do.<P>I too went through a period of time where i wanted to just ask God.."WHY DID YOU WAIT SO LONG????" but God has his own timing.<P>I know you probably do not know my story either.. I haven't come here in a long long time. The pain and disbelief of the betrayal was just so hard to deal with. I could never understandt the damage i had done to our marriage by haveing an affair. Unfortunellty, my affair snuck up on me unaware... I was in before I knew it.. <P>I lean on God to keep me from temptation. I followed MB principals. I even did a paper on Infidelity for college, so I could learn all i needed to about the significance of my deeds.<P>I have to say that there is one moment that sticks out in my mind about my sin..<P>Everytime I sinned, i nailed Jesus to the cross again and again... everytime I gave into the thoughts, the wants, the "needs" ect ect, i just thought of my savior and I am able to keep away..<P>I will keep you lifted in prayer everyday for strength and peace with in yourself and home..<P>god Bless,<BR>mercy

Hi Mercy!<P>The vivid picture you gave about sin is a good one. It is so much about giving into the wants and needs. We can get to a place where we are just thinking, "but I need this". But we don't have to do it!<P>I try to stay close to God also so temptation doesn't take me by surprise and overwhelm me. In the morning, when the day begins, is the hardest time for me. Maybe it is thinking about the long day ahead...Seems as the day goes by it gets better, I get busier and later in the day I am more occupied with my children.<P>I really appreciate your prayers on my behalf for strength and peace. I am also asking God to give me a vision for my marriage, a picture of what it can become and His intention for us as a married couple. I need a picture to persevere and give me hope.<P>Are you doing ok now? Are you healing or is the pain still so hard to deal with? I will pray for you also, along with others here who come to my mind now. <P>It is a valley I wish I had never entered and didn't have to deal with. Though I know He is with us through the valley of the shadow of death and He comforts us with His rod and staff. I am looking to Him for that comfort (rather than running to OM, as I used to). I want to persevere in this.<P>

Mercy and Sifted,<P>I just want to thank you both for all the insight that you have given me. <P>Mercy has heped me on so many ways. I think I talked to her alot when I was in witdhdraw. (which I am still going through). <P>I am working on more intimate relationship with God as I go through this. And of course somedays i just want to give up. Praise God for you guys to be here to give me hope.<P>I wish the best for you both. Thanks so much for all your help.<P>Paryers<BR>Renee<P>------------------<BR>We can do all things through Christ which strengthens us. Repeat that 5 times a day. I promise you success!

please help me if you can....I am also the betrayer...my husband is having such a hard time with what I have done....it will be two years in sept since he found out......we are considering separation now.....and today is our 16th anniversary....<P>I value any suggestions.....have you all remained married??? how about the kids??? I have a soon to be 13son and soon to be 11 daughter...son is very angry.....at everything.....<P>husband is critical of everything I do.....friends especially.....I am afraid of him at times......but I keep on dreaming that things will be better if I just hold on.....not sure how long I can hold.....

Hi stilldreamin,<P>Happy 16th wedding anniversary. I am sorry if it was a sad day for you. You say it will be two years since your husband found out. Has the affair ended completely, including No Contact at all? Did you get any counseling after your husband found out? What have you both been doing to recover and heal? When affairs are discovered and not dealt with, but just swept under the carpet, there is really no healing and the marriage will suffer.<P>I will pray for you (add you to my list, you are not alone, there are several of us). Please reply again and I and others will try to help you.

affair has ended completely.......only contact has been when I called OM because husband was in the same town and was threatening OM.....I called to warn him and then he called to comfirm that husband had attacked him...... <P>then I saw him at court hearing....that is only contact....and I would not have done that if husband had not convinced me he was going to kill OM..... <P>counseling.....we have been to a bunch.....husband has not liked any of them...we went back to one this past week after husband got physical because I tried to walk away from him when he **lost** it.....he does not appreciate me not listening to his rants......<P>I am so confused.....he has finally apologized for last week.....when he got physical....but not the specific incident.....