My H came home from work today and I greeted him at the door in my usual way...with a kiss. <P>He asked where the kids were and I told him they had gone to my dads for the afternoon.<BR>He immediately raised his eyebrows and darted his eyes from me to the bedroom and back again.<P>I was dissapointed that he wanted sex, and lovebusted by showing it. I wasn't in the mood, so I just tried to avoid him. But he kept his little routine of shifting his eyes up every time I looked at him. Eventually I said come on but make it quick, I know how upset you will be if the kids come back unexpectantly and you aren't finished. <P>And as if that weren't enough, I also added a comparision of how I felt about having to have sex with him when I wasn't in the mood. <P>He hates to get a shot at the dentist office when getting a tooth filled. I told him that sex for me was just like him going to the dentist office to get a filling. He would rather refuse the shot, and he usually does. <P>Well that was enough to make him say forget it. Which I know is what I was after, even though I knew I made him mad and hurt him.<P>Why do I do things like that??? That is exactly what I asked myself. Why did I not want to have sex???<P>The more I thought about it the more I came to realize that it has to do with him spending money.<P>I am the saver, and he is the spender.<P>We always talk about purchases, and I hate to spend money when we don't have it.<P>He loves to hunt and has MANY hunting gadgets as well as MANY guns and TONS of hunting equipment. But if you asked him, he would not see it as having SO many things.<P>I do not buy myself anything. I am more the type of buying what we NEED, not what we WANT.<P>We have a lot of credit card debt, which really eats me up. In fact I used to lose sleep over it. <P>H is always wanting something. New vehicles, "toys", etc.<P>I hate to keep saying no when he brings up the subject, but we just don't have the money right now.<P>Our vehicles are just fine, we don't need a new one.<P>His latest infatuation is a motorcycle. He wanted a street bike. My thoughts immediately went to the cost of the bike, insurance, etc.<P>Like I said I hate to keep telling him no, so I suggested that he get a dirt bike. Our son has been wanting a dirt bike, so we agreed that he could get one if he sold his go cart. He could use that money toward one and we would contribute $200 toward his purchase.<P>H agreed to look for a dirt bike and found one for $500. It needed some work, but I thought the price wasn't too bad.<P>Well our son found a dirt bike for $900, but hasn't sold his go cart yet. He wants it so badly and it is so hard to find bikes his size.<P>We discussed taking some money out of our savings account to buy it for him. I thought we could put at least some of it back when he sold his go cart.<P>Well now H found a different bike he wants and it is $1200.<P>Now getting to what it all boils down to-a few years ago we put some money into an account for a downpayment on our dream house that we hope to find someday. It was in the amount of $10,000. In the past couple years it has slowly dwindled because H always finds these new things he wants. <P>Currently, our balance is $5200. And now he wants to take out $1200 for his bike, and $900 for our sons.<P>Everytime he makes a withdrawl from that account I feel like he is taking my dream away from me bit by bit. <P>That was an important dream of mine. And now it is almost gone. And certainly we can't make a downpayment on a house with only $3100. <P>I guess we just don't see eye to eye anymore, and obviously the dream of owning a house in the country is not "Our" dream anymore.
