It seems like every day we wake up crying and every night we go to bed crying too. This has been the hardest journey ever for me. I know it has been hell for you.<P>But I am thankful for your forgivenss, your love and your kindness. I knew I married someone special when I found you. I am sorry that I didn't always treat you that way, as you deserve. <P>Some of the issues are still very difficult for me to talk about, even though I know we need to discuss them. I don't like being reminded of the past. But you don't have to worry about me trying to run away anymore when you want to talk. I might feel the need for just one minute to get up and leave the room, but those times are becoming fewer and further between. At least I am finally beginning to see just how much you need to talk about everything, and I hope this helps you get back to feeling good about us again.<P>When you express your pain to me, I don't always have the right words. What can I say? I caused it all. And I ruined it all too. I hope that holding you is enough sometimes, because sometimes there are no words.<P>All in all, I feel that we have made quite a bit of progress. In June I could not see us getting to this point, never even imagined this point. Coming here has shown me the different stages of recovery people are in. I see a lot of myself in some of them and it brings back memories that are hard to face.<P>You have told me that this is my last chance. I believe you, and I will not take advantage of you or hurt you in this way again. I realize that much time has to pass, and that I still have a lot of learning to do. It's a hard road. I used to like learning about myself. Now it hurts, because I don't like what I see. But the pain is worth the results.<P>Miss you, see you soon.<P>Love, <BR>Me

Thanks, love U<P>see you later<BR>Jason

Welcome. Wlll you still be on for awhile?

Slow night not much to do here but surf<P>Jason

HI,<P>JUst went thru and read some of your old posts. Ouch. Glad NEw Beginnings was there to say the things I wanted you to hear right then. PS didn't know S had "multiple affairs.."<P>w/b

Hey you still online?<P>Jason

'f course im still on line<P>making chocolate covered goodies - no you cant eat em all when you get home<P>ps how does meatloaf sound? good i hope cuse the ground meat is defrosting...<P>love carrie

You changed your story ? why?<P>1.5 hrs to go<P>love <BR>Jason

tmi -too much information. dont want everyone knowing everything<P>ya i know, soon!

It was good, explained alot of what we went through, better that I do in mine<P>Love<BR>Jason

talk more about it when you get home<P>ive been grazing all night - im getting F_A_T

K<P>love<BR>Jason

Hey I should be leaving right @ 0100. I'll see you in a little bit.<P>Love<BR>Jason<P><BR>(10 MORE MIN!!!)