Went to the races tonight with a girlfriend of mine. My H was there and the OW was working. Had a good time nothing said about the OW. Well after the races three kids come down and talk to my H and I just have the gut feeling they are the OW's kids at least two of the three. I walked over and my H said oh this is my wife.<P>After they left I asked if they were the OW's kids and he said no. Well it was a lie. I saw them with the OW's parents and my H had no way then to deny it.<P>H wanted to stop at the bar for a few drinks(what a concept) and he said he knew almost for sure she would be there (seeing she had gotten out of work) and it wouldn't be a good scene if I was there too. He said if I went he wouldn't. Now I am his wife and he tells me they are just friends but I can't be seen in public with him because he is afraid of what might happen. I told him I wouldn't say or do a thing. But he said no.<P>OK so I said I wouldn't go to the bar if he promised he would be home. He said ok. Well then I started home and our friends that I went with to the races were at this other bar so I stopped. Well guess what the OW was there and my H was at the other bar. Well she saw me and then started being real chummy with a couple other of my H's friends and then left. <P>I had my perfect chance to say something to her and I didn't. Was I right or wrong? She left and most likely went back to the other bar where my H probably still was. <P>I wanted so bad to say something and had the perfect chance. Now I have decided if my H doesn't come home tonight that I will make sure I go to every race every week and out to the bar whether or not he likes it. I am fed up with all the crap. It is a free world and I should be able to go where I want and he got himself in this bad spot by seeing her and being married. Now he just may have to pay the price. Hey at least I didn't give her a piece of my mind. But believe me I really wanted to.

bc,<P>You did the right thing by not saying anything to the OW. She knows you exist, yet continues a relationship anyway. Your confronting her would likely change nothing on her part.<P>As far as going to the races and bars afterwards, not sure how effective that will be if he doesn't want you there. You're correct, it is a free world, but he will likely view this as checking up on him.<P>I found my H at OW's apt and he had a hissy fit. Went looking again after supposed ending of affair. Knew he was there but didn't see his car. Finally found it parked in another complex that backs up to hers yet the entrance is on yet another street entirely. He just got better at the game! I finally stopped playing.<P>Stay strong bc!<P>Enlightened

You did the right thing.