H called and left a message for my children to come over for dinner with OW and oc and meet them for the first time and that mil would be there too.I feel sadness that we had a family tradition on the fourth and H will no longer be a part of this.i am on plan b and iam feeling very discouraged,Ifeel like H has made a decision to be with OW and it is stupid for me to cling to a hope.friends tell me to find someone new.i have treated H poorly in the marriage ,and if I were him I wouldnt come back either.

It's never too late to make amends. While it might not bring your H back or save your marriage, it will give you the opportunity to heal. Work on what you feel the problems are so that if and when you are ready for another relationship, you will have the tools to make it a happy and long lasting one. I know it is easier when you are working together, but this is not impossible alone.<P>It's too bad that your H has chosen to deal with your problems by turning to someone else, but you've heard it said a million times. If he doesn't work on his issues, he is not going to have a successful relationship with her or anyone else. That goes for you too, so I'd do what you can to fix the problems. With or without him, you have to do this for yourself. <P>How many times have people said that once they get on their feet they are suddenly attractive to the person who dumped them? It can happen for you too. The best revenge is success! <p>[This message has been edited by popeye (edited July 04, 2000).]

popeye,<BR>i am writing fast as i am about to get off the computer.When H was living with me.I worked hard on meeting his emotional needs.I did everything I could think of and tried not to LB.When H moved out I went to plan B.<BR>Due to my schedule i was very dependent on H to domestic chores.I changed my schedule before H left, but H was "in love with OW already".Iam working on myself,but lately consumed by anger and revengeful feelings.My self esteem has taken a beating,because the person who is suppose to love you the most has rejected you.We are both seeing attornies,so far H has not filed, and I dont know why he hasnt, except that he cant afford it probably. PS I get A kick out of your screen name.thanks for responding.soon2bx