Well, Poorme's bagged out again. His "can we stay married?" question has lost its intensity and meaning apparently. When he asked me this, I didn't answer right away. I thought we'd talk about it in depth when we had more time to explore the possibilities and really talk. I thought we'd share some dinner and just each other's company for a while before getting into serious conversation. I was going to see where it all went because I feel like I owe it to my marriage, but the meeting and conversation never happened.<P>I don't know if his OW is still lurking and she launched some pre-emptive strike. I don't know if he feels he doesn't have anything to lose since I gave him his assets back. I don't know the reasons for anything he does. I just know that he never called to say when we were going to get together and when I saw him today, he asked me about legal stuff pertaining to when the divorce would be final and said he wanted me to date other people. (But then he said he'd call me later today about seeing a movie! He said he loves me and probably always will. He said there probably will never be anyone who can make him feel the way I do. ???)<P>I give up on trying to figure him out. I am not fighting it. I am not pursuing it. I'm not even upset. I can't begin to give him what he wants when he doesn't even know himself. <P>This whole things is starting to feel like a fever dream. It's so confusing, disjointed, and doesn't make sense to me. It's almost like when I was embroiled in it, I was attached and drawn to it in some sick kind of way. I wanted to manipulate things so that they make sense. It's was all about me, me, me. What about MY pain? What about MY betrayal? What about our lives together? YOU OWE ME! <P>But now it feels like I am so far removed from the craziness and I don't understand what the confusion is all about. It's like watching a drunken or insane person pour petrol on themselves and then stand there asking for a light. You want to help, but you also don't want to be around when it blows! <P>Maybe I've hung on too long. I just don't feel anything. Whatever.<P>So now I am going out to party!

Hi Popeye,<P>I can feel your pain and confusion. Even though, you say you don't feel anything anymore, it's still there. Just buried deep inside & your mind is shielding you from it.<P>We'll never in a million years be able to understand them. If we could only use one word to describe them, then it would have to be LOST.<P>You're absolutely right though, in that there's no way we can give them what they want or need when they don't know themselves. And, only they can figure that out by themselves.<P>Wish I had somewhere to go to party!