Can anyone tell me when will the images of my W together with the OM end, its been 1 month since dday yet every day i see them together even though she tells me she now has no feelings for him at all and lves me yet i still cannot stop crying at these images in the morning, during the day and at night.

Are these mental images or real life pictures? I understand what it is like to be bombarded with stuff like this. I used to see things and imagine things at the most inopportune times. Things with no seeming relevence would remind me.<P>Anyway, I guess you can't control what seems to come unbidden from your subconscious, but you can reprogram your mind with more positive thoughts. Why don't you "daydream" happier things? It's like mentally rehearsing for a day when your wife and you have no one else in between you. If you can see it, you can live it. <P>Dwell on the positive so that the negative can't overtake you, and give it time. I am sure this is a normal reaction. Let it play out, but don't allow it to turn into obsession and ruin your chances of recovery. It does get better. I promise you.

loveforlife..........<P>I just wanted to say Hi and try to give you some words of encouragement. Trying to shed the images of the OM with your wife is difficult, but can be done. It has taken a concious effort on my part to learn to ignore any images of my wife and the OM that "pop in". In the book "After the Affair" by Janis Spring, she talks of just saying the word "Stop" to yourself everytime an image creeps in. It's something that helped me much initially and now, I rarely give it a thought.<P>One advantage you seem to have is she's ended her affair. This in itself should start to help the images fade. Another thing that helped me was to talk with my wife about what happened and ask her to answer some high level questions about details of her affair. I didn't want much nitty-gritty detail, but felt if she could satisfy some of my curiosity, that it might be easier to forget than to just let my imagination whip up details that just didn't occur. <P>My wife hasn't ended her affair yet and it has been 8 months since d-day. Actually the images problem has been more hers than mine. Sex stopped about 2 months ago when she kept having recurring images at inappropriate times. I am still able to suppress any errant thoughts reasonably easily. The time factor (because you do get somewhat numb to things after a while) and the anti-depressant (SAMe) I'm taking have also probably helped.<P>Good luck to you. Come here and post often. I've been greatly encouraged by what I've read here. I think you will find much wisdom to help you.

Hi loveforlife,<P>I think nearly everyone who has been betrayed shares this problem. I see that it has only been one month since dday for you. For me that was the worst time, because the initial shock that somehow protects you by somewhat numbing your brain had worn off and the images hit me fully. The worst part was the dreams that I had over and over. I would actually stay up all night to try to avoid them.<P>It has been 9 1/2 months since dday for me now. The dreams and images are almost fully gone. They will go away for you too eventually, but the suggestions you have been given are very good to help that process along.<P>You can survive this, but eight months ago I didn't believe that. The support and advice you can find here will really help.<P>Best wishes,<P>Peppermint

It's been over 2 years for me. I still have images of my W and the OM. Usually during the quiet times of the early morning. Lots of triggers from TV, movies, mags, etc that cause those ugly, ugly images to pop up. I have tried everything short of a lobotomy to purge myself of them but........... Good luck, let me know if you find 'the magic pill' ok?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by loveforlife:<BR><B>Can anyone tell me when will the images of my W together with the OM end, its been 1 month since dday yet every day i see them together even though she tells me she now has no feelings for him at all and lves me yet i still cannot stop crying at these images in the morning, during the day and at night.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I'm wondering whether anyone has tried hypnotherapy for this sort of thing?<P>

loveforlife -- Much like NeverAgain, it has been over two years since the problems between my W and I first exploded. There are still <B>MANY</B> times when "those" images come flooding back to me. I don't know if they ever truly go away . . .<P>God Bless<p>[This message has been edited by Empty Shell (edited July 08, 2000).]