I found out 3 weeks ago about my husband's 6 month affair with a co-worker. He works in the family business, and she is still there as well (she says she is looking for another job). He has completely ended the affair, and is totally committed to working things out. For that I am grateful. <P>We have two teenage daughters. We decided it would be best not to tell them. I honestly don't know how they would handle it. (Our 16 year old already has an eating disorder, but she has been doing very well the last few months.) They know something is going on, but I just told them I was having "female problems". Our room is right next to our youngest daughter's, and apparently we have been keeping her awake at night, either with my crying or our lovemaking (we try to be quiet, turn on the TV to mask any noise, etc). She has been trying to stay up late (3 a.m.!) watching TV or she will sleep on the floor in her sister's room. <P>I want to do what is best for everyone. To say that my emotions have been a little unstable would be an understatement. I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.

Erika,<P>I have two teenage sons. My wife and I agreed not to tell them any more than was necessary at any given time. When we went to counselling sessions, for example, we told them we were having marriage problems, but no more. <P>I feel that as long as there is a chance of things working out, there is no need to involve any more people than necessary with the knowledge of what was going on. One of the obstacles to recovery I've read about is the the resentment that can be there towards the wayward spouse from friends, relatives, and children. Recovery would be hard enough as it is. <P>If things don't work out, there is still plenty of time to tell children what's going on. Even if they suspect, telling them about the affair is not going to help their lives in any way. I wouldn't get more specific unless it looked like the two of you were going to separate.<P>Good luck.

If the affair starts up again, tell the children.<P>Right now I would suggest telling them that you are having some marriage problems & are working on them. Don't lie to them at all. Don't tell them you are having "female problems." Imagine how you were feeling just before you found out. You probably knew "something" wasn't right but couldn't out your finger on it. That's how they are feeling.<P>What are you two doing in the way of counseling? Steve Harley (1-888-639-1639) can really help you to develop a plan to get where you need to go.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>