They are not yet filled out, but had a move in date of Aug 1. Should I ask him anything? Or ask him to let me know what his plans are? I don't want to come home on my Bithday to find him gone. I am not feeling very strong or positive. This whole thing has seemed like a long slow downhill slide to the unavoidable conclusion. There have been few ups on my ride and few baby steps.<P>I know he seems classic affair behavoir. Maybe he needs to move out and see her more often and openly to end this thing. All I can do is try not to LB. Try to see if I can continue to hold on to myself.<BR>Lora

Ugh I know this feeling. H had said he wouldn't move out for awhile although he had informed me he didn't want to be married anymore. I found apt. listings circled in his car. He moved out. Of course he lied about the apartment he supposedly got. He actually moved in with OW (who he denied existed). I kept up with Plan A and within about a month he was missing me, feeling like he made a mistake etc. It took afew more months but we got back together. When he returned he told me getting to come back home wsa like being relaesed from prison. Keep strong, even if he moves out it's not over!

There ya go Lora, see Fairy Dust testifies that aft her H left he started to miss her.<P>And as you know that's where my H is too. It's been two mos and 8 days he's been gone. I believe he started missing me aft month 1. <P>Once the barn door's been opened and they're FREE the entire dynamics of your relationship can change drastically.<P>Lora, you've been Plan Aing for some time now and I believe you've been successful, your H himself told you he feels like your his friend now, where as before I don't think he considered you his friend.<P>If he was to leave I believe when he thinks of you it will be in a positive way. That saying "Absense makes the heart grow fonder" is very true.<P>Jo <P><BR>p.s. Guess who drove by my house last night at 10:00p? He didn't stop, he just drove by twice real slow. All the lights were out in the house.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited July 06, 2000).]

Lora<BR>Don't jump to conclusions. IMHO I think that it might be a good idea to approach your H with what you found...in a non L Busting way.<BR>You will make yourself sick worrying if you don't.<P>A little story:<BR>Before my H's affair there was a friend of his here doing some construction work. I was looking through the paper for a place for a friend of mine. My H's friend saw me looking and without asking about it he told my H that he thought I was thinking of moving out.<BR>My H didn't ask me about it either. (Conflict avoider) He just ran into the arms of the bimbo.<P>Don't let something that may be very simple get out of hand or give you needless worry about "what if..". Communication is not a LB.

Fairydust,<BR>Thanks for the encouraging words. Right now I think I can hang on til I get divorce papaers, but my feelings change by the minute. I do think he needs out of this prison to see how good he has it, then maybe he will miss it and me and out cat.<P>Jo, Thanks for the constant support. <P>Wasstubborn,<BR>Well I wish I was jumping to conclusions, but he has said he wants out, doesnt want to wait, so I can not be in denial about this. I dont know how to ask him in a non Lb way. I can't admit to snooping any more.<BR>lora

Hey Lora,<BR> We got a lot of work lined up for you this weekend. <P> Perhaps you should approach your H about possibly moving out.Of course,he'll know you were snooping,but maybe you could just mention in passing what his plans are.<BR> <BR>I know what you mean about the downhill slide.It's like a snowball picking up speed.<BR> After my stbx told me of her affair,and plans to move out,she asked me if I'd help her look for an apartment(so she could be with BoyToy).Can you say"Arrogant"? <P> BTW,is your B-Day on Aug 1st? I'll get the ice cream ready! Hang in there....<P><BR> ~~Murph<P>

Murphy,<BR>Snowball? I think it feels like it has turned into an avalanche with me on the bottom doing that arm thing to try and keep an airhole.<P>Last night I had a very emotional counseling session with me telling her that I think I am sorry I have made these changes. I have tried to open up and share my feeling with him as I never have before and I have got no response. All I feel is more rejected and hurt and now it the true me he is rejecting. I think it was easier to keep things inside and not risk it. She said she would be sorry to see that happen and I shouldn't let them win by forcing me to retreat into myself. But how will I ever risk it again? <BR>Lora