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Well I knew it was going to happen. Today my wife moves out. I need her to go to keep me from LBing her so much. But the part of me that loves her so much has just been overcome by a intense sadness. I hope it doesn't take her long to see clearly. She will still come over often for the children and I plan on being on my best behavior from this day foward. (I have been trying to do that since D-Day and have come up way short). I want to ask everybody to keep my W Teri and I in your prayers. I hope she is not gone long.
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by homer:<BR><B>I need her to go to keep me from LBing her so much.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I'm sorry to hear this Homer, but many of these stories feature this plot prior to a happy ending. The game is far from over, and the next few days and weeks will have your W looking straight in the face of what she is putting at risk. Use this opportunity to be strong and put your best face forward.<P>I am confident that this will work out for you. She is lost right now, addicted, confused, temporarily insane. Quell your anger and Plan A away....the distance will help you do that.<P>Any idea where the games stands with the OM? She isn't moving in with him, is she? Does his W know yet?<P>Be strong,<P>Mike<BR>
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I was really bummed to read your post - you've been trying so hard.<P>Hang in there Homer. I'll be praying for you and your wife. Stay strong.
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Mike,<BR>she is not moving in with OM. she is looking to stay in a extended stay hotel until she finds herself an apt. I know that this will alow her the cance to see OM more. She has told me that she has cut off intimancy with him and me. Of course I've noticed her cutting it off with me months ago. The Dr. has her looking into herself and has suggested her to take some time alone to find herself. Her draw to OM is intense and I realize she will most likely give in to her desires. But with her oout of the house I'll have to oppertunity to start freeing myself. once I can get past the anger and the saddness I know I'll be much more attractive. Psyically she has allready said that I look really good. Tanks to the infidelity det I've lost 40 lbs and I'm looking great, now I just ned to start feeling great and everything else wil fall into place.
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Homer:<P>Sorry that this has come to be, but in someways it can be for the best. You are right that it will allow you to maintain your relationship without heavy lovebusting since you can't control how she feels right now. <P>With her out of the house, you can concentrate on yourself at little more, and decide what you really want. <P>Homer, you have not come up short...there is probably no way you could have prevented this. You have done a superior job up to now.<P>But don't give up, it's not over, this is just a common step in the process; some WS have more insight into what's going on and don't go so far as to leave.<P>Woman usually are not as constitutionally prepared to deal with two relationships as are men due to the fact that they don't compartmentalize like men do. <P>This is her way of dealing with what's happening. It's hard to stop an affair once it gets going...it just has to end itself.<P>Meanwhile continue with Plan A, because she'll be needing a friend in the weeks to come.<P>You are handling this real well. We'll be here for you.<P>Buffy<p>[This message has been edited by buffy (edited July 16, 2000).]
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Homer..<BR>You said:<BR>"I wish I could see into the mind of the betrayer, I have no understanding of how they think"<P>Sure you do...you are seeing it lived out before you. The outward evidence is the manifestation of what their heart and mind belives and wants. I know it is not pretty.<P>You are probably somewhat familiar with my story. It has all blown out in the open now here at home.<P>I read sometime ago...a man describing an internal battle that he felt within himself. He described it as two, warring dogs, one black, the other white. When asked which dog wins the most, he replied: "The one I feed the most!"<P>Your wife's desires are being fed by this guy a whole lot right now.<P>You cannot underestimate the incredible force that has gripped your wife's heart and mind. People that have no clue to what they are talking about can flipplantly reply: "Well...she made a choice...she could cut it off anytime she wants!" I don't even respond to those folks anymore. They don't know what they are talking about.<P>Trying to seperate myself from the woman I was involved with (EA-long distance) was like trying to remove myself from a huge sheet of contact paper or fly-paper. It just simply wears you down trying to get 'unstuck'. I don't belive I need to explain that word picture, do I? <P>I didn't go as far as moving out on my family. But I've seen enough pain already to last a lifetime. I am sorry you are going through this. Give it some time. It may still work out for you all. God Bless.<p>[This message has been edited by NoMas (edited July 16, 2000).]
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I'm so sorry, Jason. <P>It's too bad it had to go this far. BUT, maybe it will knock her into reality and give her the clarity that she needs. I hope! Maybe it will be a good turning point, not a bad one.<P>Keep posting if you need encouragement. We're all here for you!!!<P>My prayers are w/you and your W, Momma
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