There are about 5 women in my circle of friends who, in the last year or so, have separated or begun divorce proceedings. It's been hard for everyone and we all try to be there for each other. However, there is one person in particular who is giving me a hard time. I really like this woman and want to be there for her, but she is making it really hard. She's getting more and more insecure and my presence just seems to bring out the competitive, aggressive, depressed side of her. I want to be there for her during her time of need, but it is draining me. She's starting to get really antagonistic sometimes and it's hard to keep a straight face and be pleasant when I am so provoked. <P>The simple solution is just to be with her one on one, but her way of dealing with the stress is to go out. If there is one person going out with us, there are ten.<P>Any ideas on how to handle this twist of events? <p>[This message has been edited by popeye (edited July 16, 2000).]

Hi Popeye -<P>Have you (and/or the other girls) tried to talk to her about this behavior? She probably doesn't realize that this is a problem. It's a shame too, cuz she certainly won't get through this nightmare with such low self-worth showing with her friends!! Imagine how she must be within the marriage.....<P>I had a friend who experienced something similar. We talked with her, honestly and calmly - without putting her on the defense or making her feel even more inadequate.....It took a while, but she got much better and her self-esteem raised much higher from it. That boost spilled into her relationship and she projected a much more endearing persona to her BF.....they're still together!!<P>Hope this helps.<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Hi Sheba,<P>Thanks for such sound and obvious advice! (Funny how we can so often overlook the obvious!) I can't believe it's that easy. Normally I am very straight forward. I don't know why the TRUTH didn't even occur to me! ha!<P>Yes, you are right. I will talk to her. She has tender feelings, but she is always reasonable once she has a chance to think things over.<P>Thank-you so much!