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#389722 07/16/00 10:01 AM
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I'm going to apologize in advance for those of you this DOESN'T concern. I am a little angry because I'm trying my hardest to be nice to everyone here. I thought it would be fun to have a break from bad days, pain, and all that for once and laugh, but no. Some people on this site don't think so. All I ask is if you have a problem with me being here period then say something. I'm tired of getting called whiny, a brat, and taking up space here. If that's the problem then say so. I'm sick and tired of this! I wasn't aware that I wasn't allowed to put my site in my signature either. If that's a problem then don't go there! Geez! I'm NOT going to be the target of angry that's suppose to be directed somewhere else! It's not fair to me! I didn't know we were suppose to be glum, sad, and angry every time we get on this board! It's obvious that someone can't take a joke. I swear if this keeps up, I'm going to leave this site. I'm tired of trying to be nice.<P>PS Like I said before, if this doesn't involve you, don't flame me. I'm mad because some people can't take a joke.<P>------------------<BR>there will be no more signature

#389723 07/16/00 10:24 AM
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I didn't think the flying cow was offensive at all. As a Monty Python AND a Northern Exposure fan, I thought it was cute. ANd you aren't the first person to post humorous diversions.<P>If someone posted to you they didn't like it, don't take it to heart too much. There is a diverse group of people here, each with his own opinions, each with the desire and the right to express them. You will always find someone who disagrees with you. (People disagree with me all the time.) When that I happens I found the best thing to do is first decide if I have anything to learn from it. If not, shrug it off. It's not always easy for me to do that, but I keep trying and it keeps getting easier.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by TruthSeeker (edited July 16, 2000).]

#389724 07/16/00 10:28 AM
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I will try to remember that TruthSeeker, but right now I'm too angry at being kicked in the face for trying to be nice.<P>------------------<BR>there will be no more signature

#389725 07/16/00 10:57 AM
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Hi Yuki,<P>One thing I have realized, and you need to realize too, is that although this place is a support network filled with people who are hurting, they aren't real people in your life. <P>Huh? You're wondering what I mean. <P>This is a cyber world, and you may get close to some here, emailing or meeting, but for the most part, these are faceless people on the internet. It isn't real. <P>You know how I know that? I made the same mistakes you are.<P>Yes, come here to learn, to vent, to share... but don't expect these people to take the place of your real life friends and family. Sometimes they will, don't get me wrong... I have become quite close to a few people from Marriage Builders. But as one of my email-pals from here tells me, he is what he *tells me* he is, nothing more, nothing less. <P>The internet is great, but it doesn't take the place of real life. It took me a whole year and lots of hurt feelings to realize that. Maybe you can learn that truth a little sooner and save yourself some pain.<P>Best wishes.

#389726 07/16/00 10:59 AM
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I think I understand I little of what you're saying, but do you mean I should ignore people here? I shouldn't try to be nice to people here? Maybe I don't get it.....<P>------------------<BR>there will be no more signature

#389727 07/16/00 11:10 PM
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I'm saying to quit taking remarks made to you so seriously, and I don't mean that in a hurtful way. <P>I'm also suggesting that although your pain is real, as is everyone else's on this board, when you post jokes and "hope you feel better's" to complex problems it is seen as immature and not understanding. That's why you get reponses like the one that prompted this thread. <P>You seem to have found a friend in Mrs. O... stick with her, and learn from her. She is reaching out. Stay away from posts where you know you'll be flamed. It's your choice. <P>Best wishes.

#389728 07/16/00 11:32 PM
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Please don't take this the wrong way, but what you're suggesting is that I cannot be myself. I don't want to be sad and angry all the time in order for people to respond to me. I like to be happy too, but I'm glad I now know that a lot (maybe all) of people see it as immature. I'm sorry if you feel this way. Don't worry, you won't be seeing anymore posts like that ever again.....<P>------------------<BR>there will be no more signature

#389729 07/16/00 01:39 PM
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Hi Yuki,<P>Sounds like things are tumultuous for you here, but I got your e-mail and appreciated it. I'm sorry you had such a hard time on the boards... I tried to look up what you are referring to about the comments on the cow but I guess they've been deleted? I have no idea what anyone said to you - but I'm sorry if you were attacked.<P>I regret that you've decided not to stay, even though I can't say that I wouldn't have made the same decision. If you don't feel welcome here then you just don't. I wish you luck in getting out of your in-law's place. Sounds like a crappy situation to be in and you really need out.<P>Good luck, Yuki...<P>------------------<BR>"I believe... this is heaven to no one else but me - and I'll defend it long as I can be left here to linger in silence if I choose to would you try to understand?" - Sarah McLachlan

#389730 07/16/00 11:33 PM
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My only function here is to post happy things... fun things... (I haven't been posting in a while, because things for my "other" identity here haven't been going so well).<P>I think most of the posters here enjoy the fun things... I <B>LOVED</B> the Flying Cows! <P>Don't let a few people who are having a bad day discourage you. We all have off days when nothing will make us happy... it happens. We are all here because we are in pain, and some days are worse than others... *PMS* strikes us all sometimes [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com].<P>Stick around and try to blow off the negative responses to your WONDERFULY Fun post.<P><A HREF="http://www.funlaugh.com/newsmile.html" TARGET=_blank>Smiles for YOU!</A><P>Hugs & Kisses,<BR>TCF<BR>

#389731 07/17/00 12:28 AM
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I wondered what happened to the "Card<BR>Fairie".<P>Sorry, I will always think of you as Yuki, it is that western bias. Sure most of us are older than you, most of them are younger than me. <P>No I do not expect you to be other than you are, I at least have been guilty of trying to show you the other side.<BR>Well I am the other side, although I surely hope that I give no reason for a wife of one of my sons will feel that way about me.<BR>For that I thank you. I am not yet a MIL, but I hope to be someday. I think maybe you have helped me be a better one.<P>So Good Luck to you, I wish you all the best. And darn it all I missed all the Flying Cow stuff.<P>Take care my dear.

#389732 07/17/00 05:57 AM
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Yaki M<P>Sorry I havent been following your posts so Im unaware of whats been happening to you.<P>Why do you feel you have to leave because of what others say. It maybe they have a problem and tell them to get a life. We all cant be miserable all the time surely.<P>I say stay a be pain in A**** [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]to those who arent compassionate to others feelings and attitudes to life. <P>What harm can you be on this forum<P>T

#389733 07/17/00 06:29 AM
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My 7 year old and I played this silly game for hours! "Can you help me get this in my favorites, Mom?" Next day, he showed his friend and they played for hours. It was a great diversion for the summertime blues. <P>Yuki, believe in yourself. Don't let anyone get to you, be strong. <P>TNT

#389734 07/17/00 09:32 AM
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by yuki miaka:<BR>Please don't take this the wrong way, but what you're suggesting is that I cannot be myself<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Miaka~<BR>I would like to share something with you. <P>I have a grown son. A few years ago, when he wasn't grown, we were discussing something this very thing. He would do or say something which would elicit reactions he couldn't understand, and he would be hurt and get angry. My advice to him was to either not do or say those kinds of things, or to get used to the reactions. He responded, as you have, "But Mom, I can't do either of those things, that's not me!!" I will say to you what I said to him then.<P>You are not cast in bronze. You are a person whose job it is to learn, and grow, and change. You must choose what to hold on to and what to let go. You do not need to change anything about yourself you want to keep, but you cannot expect the entire world to appreciate every aspect of you, either. It is good to examine your actions and words when you get feedback, good or bad. The reaction of others is the only real barometer we have to discover the impact we have on the world. And you must expect unpleasantness as well as pleasantness. But only you can determine if you need to alter your behavior. <P>I believe it is true sign of maturity when we able to make the distinction between honestly proferred constructive criticism and a intentional slam, and then to incorporate the good we can find as apart of ourselves and to let the rest fall by the wayside.<P>Do yourself a favor, dear Miaka, post whatever you sincerely believe and don't be so concerned about pleasing everyone. You can't do it!! There will always be someone who can't be won over. And there will always be those who appreciate what you contribute. As long as you aren't behaving like most of the fools in most Internet chatrooms do, trying to dominate things, being vulgar just for that sake of vulgarity, intentionally being hurtful, and so on, you have as mush right to post whatever you chose here as anyone else.


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