Hi, I have visited this site on and off for the last few months ........ and it has been very helpfull to hear how other people are dealing with their 'situations'. I am now at a crossroads in my relationship, and just thought I would post some questions about my specific situation to see what others have to say.<P>Some details you may need to know:<BR>- We have been married for 5 years, with no kids. Both of us are very driven individuals (career wise, and are always 'on the go').<BR>- My wife had an affair three years ago ....... I took the blame for it, because I was working WAY too much, and neglected my wife's needs. I corrected my work behaviors, and things turned around. But, I found out after, my wife didn't end the affair when she said she did ....... it carried on for months after. Lies continued, and I now think we never really did get over that situation (my wife still resents me for what I put her through to 'make her' have an affair ... and she can never open up to me emotionally and truthfully because of the guilt and lies of the past).<BR>- My wife is now on her second affair. She met this guy on an out of town conference in April, and has been emotionally connected to him ever since. Not sure if sex is involved (she won't admit to it), but, right now ... my wife said she needed some time away from me ... she is on holidays 800 miles away ..... in the same town as the other man for a week. Also, you would not believe the amount of Lingerie she has in her closet (none of which I ever bought her, or that I even ever saw her wear).<BR>- My wife is now saying that she is realizing that she has never really felt an emotional connection to me ........ I can definately agree that we have had intimacy problems for quite some time .... but to say that we NEVER were close is very hurtful. She also believes that if two people were meant to be together, they should not have to work at a marriage ...... ie, all marriages don't need work. Therefore, she truly thinks the grass is much greener on the other side of the fence.<BR>- I have been plan Aing for about three months now, but, my wife refuses to stop calling the other guy (after all, they are 'just friends'). They have only seen each other 3 times since they met (they do live far apart), but they talk on the phone and email each other almost daily. After she doesn't see him for a few weeks, we actually start connecting again, but, then she will see him (another work conference), and when she gets back, she once again wants a separation, and we are back at square one again.<BR> I cannot handle this roller coaster ride anymore. I cannot see things changing, until she stops seeing the other guy. Is it time to move to Plan B ? Or do I continue competing.<BR> Is it possible that my wife is just in a dream world ???? She has always had things given to her (she comes from a great, supportive family, she has lots of good friends, she has a good job, she is an extremely attractive women (she could be a model), and constantly has men hitting on her. Am I fighting a losing battle ?? If I go to plan B, I fear she will just move on without looking back.