My husband had an affair with another woman that lived in our neighborhood. We have been married for 30 years. She was much younger than both of us, we are in our 50's, she is in her 30's. Her husband was away from his family and I became her friend and invited her to our home all the time to make her separation from her husband less lonely. To make a long story short, I found her and my husband in a sexual embrace outside our home on Thanksgiving evening. When confronted he told me that he had been having an affair with this woman for three months. My question is her husband never found out because of circumstances but I feel that I want to tell him about what happened. Is this wrong, should I tell him, should I let it go and get on with my life. I have suffered so much from this but she has walked away unscathed by any of this. I am at a loss on what to do. She has moved away so we don't see her anymore. Please help.

My question is.. what does telling him do for you? The only reasons I can think of would be self-centered and self-serving on your behalf. My opinion (and that is all it is)... take the high road & let it go. Keeping on to any of that stuff is just poisioning your heart & soul. Get rid of anything that doesn't have a positive outcome for you & your family. All the thoughts of telling him can do is potentially drag you & your family down.<P>Good luck with your decision.

I posted the same question not too long ago and someone (I am not sure who) suggested that I write a letter or tell her that if she ever tries to contact my husband again...then I would tell her husband. This way you are not doing it out of spite... you will be letting her know that you have the motive to tell him.. and the only way you will act on your desire to tell him is if she doesn't leave your husband alone. I guess a part of me wants to destroy her but, also, a part of me knows it is not my place to tell her husband. They are nothing to me. Good luck in your decision.