Don't know if anyone remembers me, but I used to post here and I do recognize some of the names of you still here when I was. To bring you up to date, my DH had an affair 1 1/2 years, ago, he cleaned up his act, I caught him with on-line chatting about l0 months later, and last night I caught him again. Only this time he's not sure he'll give up chatting with her, he's tired of not being happy, he's not in love with my anymore, and he doesn't think I'm in love with him or happy either. I'm as upset as you can get. <P>Have been up since 1:30 a.m. when I woke up to go to the bathroom but caught him on-line. This time it looks like he realizes we need to separate. That really hurts me.<P>So, I'm no longer a success story. Something drew me back to this site. He's too poor to move out right now, so I guess we'll be under the same roof for a while. I would do much better if I didn't have to see him anymore since I'm a basket case right now. Have to go back to work this morning, first time since my vacation 2 weeks ago. <P>Probably shouldn't be at this board since I'm not working on my marriage at this point. Just don't know where else to go.<P>Cheryl

Yes you do need to be here!<BR>My H hasn't moved back in , but this board has helped me COPE!!<BR>From those that are or were in recovery, it appears that slipping and going backwards is not unusual.<BR>Have you considered your H is addicted to the computer? Remember the difficulty of withdrawel. Remember how the "fix" feels so wonderful they "forget" everything else.<BR>I can't remember your issues,but if this is a different person he is chatting with.It's the computer he's addicted to not the person.<BR>I still have days when I just want to throw in the towel too. Heck one of them was yesterday. But taking an active role in becomeing a better person helps me,which in turn helps my kids, friends, family and so on. Maybe someday my H will jump on the bandwagon. If not who will have lost the most? NOT ME!!!<BR>Hopefully this will give you time to work on YOU. Re-evaluate what you want from this marriage and examine if you are willing to work at it again. Remember this has to be for life.... <BR>Take care and come back often. <BR>Tyra

[<BR>oh how i feel for you. i know just what your going through. i was married for 20 years, then 4 weeks ago my w told me she dont love me anymore. i to feel alone, i dont think they know what it dose to us. im not sure what to tell you to do, as i dont know what to do either. mayby you can find some answers in this site, its the best one i have found . i will pray to give you strenght to get through this. try to get him some help, remember you dont have a problem, he dose. good luck to you. keep posting.<BR>gary<P>

Dove, I remember you, I'm so sorry you have this reason to come back.<P>I wish your H would realize that if he spent the time he is on the computer with you that maybe he wouldn't be out of love or so unhappy. You can't change his thinking-pattern, only influence it, and I'm sure you've tried.<P>Just a big hug {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dove}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10