Hello, Friends.<P>I'm not around much right now...resting just a bit, but I wanted to come on and tell you just how much you have all meant to me.<P>Robert and I hit a snag...not another affair or a PT thing (still waiting to see what she comes up with!)...but a snag nonetheless. I must be a bit tired. It threw me for a loop. Even my poor husband couldn't understand why I was so affected.<P>I crumbled. All of a sudden, I thought I had no strength left...I couldn't take another thing going wrong. I was frustrated - with myself mostly - and didn't know what to say, what to do, which way to turn. I didn't FEEL like talking...didn't feel like doing anything. This little snag absolutely, positively for the first time since this ordeal began more than a year and 1/2 ago drained my spirit. I confided in a very few close friends...and I wasn't able to listen to their advice. I wasn't myself and didn't FEEL like myself. I was, once again, lost.<P>At my lowest point, when I was most disappointed in myself, I came home and signed on to the computer for the first time in days....expecting to see the normal 5-6 e-mails. It's an understatement to say I was absolutely positively over-whelmed with what I saw. I cried. And cried. Much needed tears. It took several days to read all the wonderful cards and letters that the MB family sent to me....and I've kept every single one to read again. Each time I opened one, I cried.<P>You have no idea how much this support has meant to both of us. Robert sat there and looked at me bawling over the computer as I tried to explain to him what was going on. "But, Honey, isn't this a GOOD thing?" Yes, absolutely. And the most amazing thing began to happen. With each letter, from old friends and new ones, I got stronger and stronger. I felt "Lori" coming to life again and started looking at my world more realistically, less dramatically. (Yes, I was THE drama queen for a couple of weeks! I even digusted myself!!! )<P>Well, we're doing fine, working together and committed to each other. Actually, I think this may turn out to be a good thing...it just FEELS good that we are riding out a storm and holding on to each other. The honesty has been more than I ever dreamed it could be and so has our committment to each other. Though this storm seemed to toss us about, I think we'll come out of it with an understanding of each other and a closeness that we've never ever known before.<P>So, I guess I'm just writing to say thank you. Once again, when I needed something, the MB family was here....with what I needed when even I didn't know what it was. You have given me strength, hope and love with your wonderful cards and words of support. For that, I can never thank you enough, there simply aren't enough words. But, please know that it was you all that revived my spirit and strengthened my heart and my soul. Believe it or not, Lori is coming back (Now THAT...I'm not so sure is a good thing! ) I'm writing each one of you, as fast as I can....that is definitely gonna take a while...but I have to let each of you know how very special you are.<P>Well, Robert will be home from class soon, so I'd better go. Thank you again, with all my heart. I don't know what I'd do without you. I can never fully repay you.<P>All my love to each of you,<P>Lori<P>

Lori,<P>For me, you owe no debt of grattitude. All the wonderful uplifting letters with words of encouragement gave me the strength I needed. I was only giving back what was freely given to me. You are a wonderful lady with a wonderful husband. I once again cried tears of joy for your happiness.<P>Keep the faith and allow yourself the down times and the snags, that is where the real growth comes from.<P>Give Robert my best,<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR><P>May the roads rise to meet you,<BR>May the winds always be at your back,<BR>May the sun shine warm upon your face,<BR>The rains fall soft upon your fields,<BR>And until we meet again,<BR>May god hold you<BR>In the hollow of his hand.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Lori}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Sooo good to hear you are ok. <P>I was worried about you. <P>

Lori,<P>I have had almost no time to do the things I really would have like to do since coming back from vacation.<P>Prayers and more prayers... <P>Those snags will work themselves out...<BR>...PTC!<P>Love and peace.<P> <P>Jim

So glad to hear you are yourself again.

I'm with Bill...you owe me no debt. You may not realize it, but reading many of your posts helped me, and I'm sure many others, when I needed it. <P>BUT, I'm SOOOO glad to see you are feeling better!<P>Hugs--<P>Kathi

Lori,<BR> I came onto the call to help you a little late and couldn't find your e-mail addy, but I just want to say that I wish I could be half as understanding and patient through all this garbage as you've been with what you've gone through. Robert is very, very lucky to have you.<BR> I'm glad that you have worked through your "snag" amd are feeling strong and confident again.<BR> May God bless you and Robert and your marriage for many, many years to come!

Lori, It is true. "What goes around, comes around." The good as well as the bad. You gave us hope and encouragment, when WE needed it,Now it was your turn to receive. <BR>I am glad you are weathering the STORM together. That is all our ultimate Goals.<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Tyra

Hey Kid, <BR> Welcome back!!!I also would like to thank you for all the wisdom, insite and support during the GREATEST time.... OOPS what a TYPO!! The WORST time in my life I mean, well it's been a little of both for me!<BR> God Bless you and if I ever find out you really ARE an angel and you didn't tell me!!!<BR> GOOD LUCK & PRAYERS FRANK

Lori,<P>You owe me nothing. Like Kathi said, reading your posts have given me hope in the past. I'm just glad you're feeling better.<BR>

Hey Lori,<P>I've been a bit self-involved lately and missed your "shower" (of love and support, which you richly deserve). I'm glad to hear that things are smoothing out for you and your husband.<P>Please understand what I am about to say. There is no way that I would wish any problem on you or anyone else here (even those very few people that I find so annoying I sometimes want to scream).<P>As I read your posts about the recovery that you and Robert were experiencing, sometimes I almost felt like a failure. It seemed that everything was perfect between the two of you and firestorm and I have been struggling all along. As I compared the two situations, it seemed like we were doomed to fail if you guys could overcome everything you had faced so easily, yet we were having so much trouble with a one time fling.<P>Lori, you are the one person here, more than any other, that everyone looks to for an example to follow and to gauge their own progress. We couldn't keep up! With every setback we had, I thought of how you and Robert were succeeding and how you made it seem so easy.<P>Now I know that, while still an angel, you are human too. And that you are having some of the same feelings, problems, doubts, and "bumps in the road" that the rest of us do. So I am not failing, just progressing at a different rate!!<P>In an earlier post, Frank mentioned that he thought you didn't want to share your problems with us because it might make some of us lose hope. I hope that isn't true, because I believe that most everyone here would love to have the chance to give you just a small return of the love and support that you have always given us. So share with us, as honestly and as fully as you feel the need to do. And let us give you the help that you need to be able to make it through this.<P>Isn't that what we are all here for?<P>With lots of love, best wishes, and a few prayers for us all,<P>Peppermint

That a Girl Lori!<P>No thanks required, Hon. Glad to hear things are better.<P>You and Robert be well and happy!<P>Best,<BR>Jo

Thank you all so very much.<P>Peppermint...had to write you back. Thanks for the good wishes and the nice things you said and no, I took no offense whatsoever!<P>Our recovery HAS gone very well, but there have been problems along the way. Day three, he was ready to move out...didn't tell PT for weeks that he was actually back home...took FOREVER to close their bank accounts, etc...wanted to continue to help her financially....was gonna give us six months just "to see" and continue seeing her during that time...felt that they should remain close friends....physical intimacy was slow at best...and on and on.<P>But, I wrote what I was feeling here on the board, and that was that things were going well. I know I mentioned some of these things...I guess I just glazed over them. Not to mislead, I just looked at it differently, I think. I EXPECTED so many problems...I was still in "separated and living with PT Plan A" mode. I concentrated on the good signs and nurtured them and pretty much (when my emotions would let me) just "blew off" the other stuff as part of getting over this mess. I'm sorry. <P>I know how you feel. I read so much that getting back together was like a "second honeymoon" and I was constantly rejected for a while. It made me feel something was wrong with me. <P>These troubles weren't nearly what I had in the past...just intensified b/c of problems I was having with ME, know what I mean? I'd have come on...but probably AFTER I worked it out in my head..I tend to operate that way. I needed time alone.<P>Everyone's recovery is different...ours is not done yet...and I'll stick around from time to time to fill you guys in...<P>I'll admit..I do tend to talk "after the fact". Once we've worked through stuff and put it to bed. It feels better for me that way.<P>You guys keep doing what you're doing...we're all heading in the same direction...and I know we'll all get there.<P>Love,<P>Lori<BR>

Lori,<BR>Whenever I begin to feel anger and hurt at the thought of the OW and start to think "poor me - I've been so hurt, I don't deserve this..." I think of you and some of your posts and how you kept putting yourself in your H's place. I now do the same. He must have been feeling extremely alone without any support or love from me, so he went somewhere else to get it.<P>I wasn't trying to be that way - had two kids to raise, deal with financial difficulties from his failing business, and work full time, too. So, the thing that suffered the most was my emotional giving to him. I regret that so much now.<P>Anyway, your words helped me to keep things in perspective and not get so wrapped up in me, me, me.<P>Lori, everytime you give, your soul rejoices. You have given so much your soul is having the the biggest party ever!<BR>Love, <BR>Laurie