I have a question. Please read my other post for more about my relationship with my H. He is now calling me often Mon and Tues. Do I take all of his calls or do I skip some. Spoke with him on Mon. did not speak to him on Tues. I dont want him to think I still am depesperate to speak to him. I enjoy speaking to him but do not need to speak with him everyday. If he is with OW will not call, it ends in a fight if he does that. Because he is so nasty and she lips off in the back ground and I am not taking it. or do i speak with every time he calls. any advice is appriciated.

Hi Tigger:<P>Are you in Plan A or Plan B? If you're in Plan A there is certainly nothing wrong with talking to him as much as you want. After all you want to encourage all the communication you can without LBing.<P>However, if you're in Plan B, then you should not be receiving calls from him at all...no contact at all except through someone else is the rule...or as little as possible if you have kids.<P>Really funny how they call when OW is not around isn't it? Mine always called or came over when she was not around. Careful of that "having his cake and eating it too business" though. <P>Buffy<P>

Hey Tigger.<P>You came over to General Questions...welcome.<P>You know, I guess I know a little bit about your story, so let me say..that while it is not "pure" Plan A behavior... I'd miss a call now and then too.<P>Your H is a lot like mine. Kind of back and forth (though I think ow is out of the pic here). These guys are confused, big time. Sometimes Plan A seems (sorry guys) a little too desperate for me. Some of those WS out there are just immature enough to need some sort of a challenge. I think mine fits into that category. When I ignore him a bit and am a bit evasive about my plans he gets very interested. Stupid, I know...but game playing runs rampant. <P>I guess my version of Plan A is to be sweet as sugar when I'm around him, but I do not call him (almost never) and I ask nothing of him. This way, when he is around me, it's because he wants to be, and he is generally in a really good mood when he's with me and or the kids.<P>Hope you stick around tigger, you should get more help here than on the A/B boards, those seem to be pretty slow.<P>Take care<BR>allison

I was basically in Plan A during my separation. At first I jumped at H's calls or returned them right away. Then I noticed that if I didn't pick up and didn't return his call, the next day I either got a worried visit or a super sweet "I miss you phone call". Not jumping all the time seemed to pique his interest somewaht. I wouldn't, of course, do this often enough for him to think I wasn't interested. Just enough to make him a little less secure. Game playing I know, but it worked. Happy together a year and a half later!

OK, lets all confess. We all do it. <P>Let the answering machine pick up and when it's him don't answer. Sure it's not pure MB Plan A but it feels good sometimes, doesn't it.<P>Occasionaly I have told him that I don't have time to talk...that was a definite LB but was earlier on in this matter.<P>Now I usually am not home when he calls and I don't have to fake it. But I see him so often that it's not necessary anymore.<P>Buffy<BR>