cac,<P>Two things. No. 1: as a betrayed W, I understand why yours needs some time alone. When your world has been turned upside down, all you want to do is get away from what hurts you, huddle in a cave someplace, and lick your wounds until you finally heal. She is doing what it takes to take care of herself. Which is good.<P>Two, your W's response to you will depend on what you are willing to give her. Are you willing to humble yourself, and give her all of the answers she needs? Are you willing to prove to her that you have terminated contact with the OW forever and adhere to your promise? Are you willing to prove to her, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are faithful? She might insist on things that you might find offensive - reading your mail, your email, listening to your cell phone messages, etc. Are you willing to open your life up to her completely? Are you willing to put your own feelings aside (your own hurt) and treat her tenderly, as though she were the most special human on the planet? Humility, *willing* honesty, attentiveness, and remorse key ingredients to recovery.<P>Yes, you might get results if you approach your recovery from a lukewarm perspective. But if you approach it with enthusiasm, tempered by understanding and sensitivity, my thoughts are that you will eventually win her back. But be warned: this will require a lot of spade work!<P>belld<P>P.S. If you want specific examples of how you can show you love her... think back to what you did during your courting days. Flowers, candy, perfume, little gifts, cards, etc. - those all work!
